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In the same vein as the Reasons why Chibi-usa MUST be Punished page is the Sailor Moon (mis)Conceptions. The goal is to explain (in the most outrageous manner) the different aspects of Sailor Moon. None of this is supported anywhere, nor is it canonical. Hum.. I think I've made my point.

My partner in coming up with most of these was jiro (which explains the number of Pluto entries ;). This is in Question and Answer format. If you have a question you would like to me to answer, mail it to me. (Be sure to indicate that it's for this page or else you will get a serious answer ^^;) Once again, submissions are certainly welcome as long as they are in GOOD TASTE and preferably humorous.

The mysterious Sailor Pluto

What are those keys around her waist as seen in the manga?

I'm certain that you are like I was and believed those to be the keys to the Time Gate. Or perhaps they are keys like the one Chibi-Usa used in her time travelling? The truth of the matter is, the keys that are around Pluto's waist are all the keys to Haruka's various cars.

I don't want to do homework any more! I'm moving to Pluto!

A marvelous plan! Go to the Senshi that will make you learn and has the time to teach you.

Yes, I am quoting you, Pooh-chan ;)

Is Mokona from Magic Knights Rayearth related to Pluto?

This very question has been a hot topic of debate for some time. It would seem that the lil white, er, thing, from MKR does hold some feelings for the Guardian of Time for as often as he calls out her nickname 'Puu'.

Coming to a solid conclusion regarding this is difficult because we could not find Pluto to ask her. They obviously do not look alike. Though Mokona could possibly be some distant relative since nothing is known about Pluto's family.

They do both hold a good amount of power that is somewhat similar. Mokona makes objects appear out of no where while Pluto herself comes out of nothingness. This, in part, supports the 'distant cousin' theory. Also, consider that Mokona lived with a weapons maker and you must admit, Pluto does have a very nice staff. Has anyone questioned where the Garnet Rod itself came from?

And what about the Moogle from the Final Fantasy games? Admittedly, it does bear a striking resemblance to Mokona and has been quoted as saying 'Puu'. Just something to think about...

Is 'Puu' Pluto's only nickname?

If you value your existance in the time stream, yes. And I do warn heavily against ever calling a Super Deformed or Chibi'ed Pluto ChibiPuu...

[Beans suddenly becomes plushied and is then sold on the Canadian black market as a Sailor Pluto accessory doll by a mysterious woman with long dark green hair...]

Sailor Pluto is so hot! How do I ask her out for a date?!

Alas, I am sorry to break your fragile hopes, but it has been done before. The gentleman in question inquired Pluto about a movie and she coolly answered him, "I wouldn't bother to make the time to see you." She had meant it quite literally.

How come Pluto is never around in the anime?

Contrary to popular belief, Pluto does not spend all of her time standing around the Time Gate. (I mean honestly how boring of a life can you get?) Truth be told, she has been touring Europe for the last 3 years lecturing over the various periods of history at small private and community colleges.

Before that she was an assistant to a certain Dr. Jones. (Perhaps you've heard of him?) Her time with him only last for a brief stint in the 1930's during which the doctor was very successful in finding several artifacts. All of them have subsequently been lost again.

How come Pluto has so many entries? --Mich98

[Beans points over at jiro] Because of him and his Pluto bias (which is only slightly over shadowed by his Minaaaaako bias ;)

Tsukino Usagi

Has any of the Senshi made any tv appearances (non-commercial) besides Sailor Moon?

Funny that you mention it.. Yes, Usagi was recently seen in competition with Homer Simpson on 'ABC's Wide World of Sports' in a donut eating contest. I'm afraid I can't tell you the results though because my vcr recorded the wrong channel and I ended up with an hour of 'Court TV' somehow...

Honestly now, are those odangos of hers just solid balls of hair?

[Sigh] Her secret is out. No, the odango's on her head are hollow and I will kill another misconception here; each one does not hold one of her two brain cells.

You must understand, it takes a lot of energy to maintain that perpetually airheadedness of hers. To be able to switch moods as drastically and rapidly as she does requires a lot of stamina and energy! Thus, the odango's are fill with a supplemental food source that she can intake when her energy is wavering (think beer cap here...)

Why is it that sometimes when Usagi freaks out her meatballs separate from her head? --Jane

Ah! Someone finally noticed that not all odangos are made equal. In fact, Usagi has several different sets that she uses depending upon her need. We've already discussed her beer cap odangos. These are her radio-controlled odangos.

What would be the best (meaning quickest and easiest) way to eliminate Usagi so I can have Mamoru? --Jane

o.o; You're not pushy or anything, are ya? Well, there are more then one way to skin a senshi, so to say. Since Usagi has the ability to purify the evil around her, it'd be in your best interest to not get within her range. (Since there's no denying that plotting her death is evil >P ) With this in mind, I would try offering a buffet filled with Akane and C-ko's finest cooking. Even a small amount from either cook has been shown to have undesirable side effects and should do the trick.

Chibi-Usa

[This is a cut and paste of a question asked on IRC]

If a tree fell on Chibiusa and no one was there to witness that, is it still a miracle? --Doris

Doris: Wouldn't work... the yams would halt the tree's descent. She'd just end up with this big ol' tree impaled on her hair. --CodeMan

Mizuno Ami

How come Mercury's Shabon Spray (Mercury Bubble Blast for you DiC watchers) is so weak?

While this attack is useful for creating a fog to confuse the enemy, no one has looked at how exactly Mercury produced it. Thus, I pulled out my uncut non-DiC tapes of Sailor Moon and watched the Shabon Spray over and over and over again. The answer was discovered by my brother who walked through the living room while I was glued to the tv. He glanced over my shoulder and commented, "Is that a bubble blower she's using?"

I know! I was shocked as well. But the tapes proved it. Look closely and you can even see a fuzzy cute lil teddy bear on the side of the bottle.

What color does Ami turn when choked? or do you care? --Noi

Of course we care.. most of us anyways.

I would guess that Ami would turn blue since it would match her fuku so well. (I won't mention how some people would like to test my theory..)

Kaioh Michiru

Why is Michiru's hair blue/green? --Aimee

Because she is aligned with water. This answer also applies to Ami, whose head of blue locks demonstrates this. The reason their hair isn't the same color is due to the differences in their alignments. Ami is more aligned with fresh water and ice (resulting in a distinct blue) while Michiru is deep/salt water (making is more of a greenish blue).

Ten'ou Haruka

How can Haruka stand such a short skirt? --Sailoreagle

Quite easily, actually. I mean she's got the legs for it. And, of course, Sailorneptune is always nearby. That makes it all the better ;)

Do you think Haruka prefers blonds, brunettes, or redheads? --Jackie Chiang

I caught up with Haruka after her latest fanfic racing victory to ask her this question.

"Which do I prefer? Well, blondes are more fun, but a bit airheaded for my tastes. I avoid redheads. Kaolinite and Eudial taught me that lesson. Brunettes, especially ones with longer hair tied up in a pony tail, are rather cute..."

"Ara..?" [said off screen by a dangerously low voice]

"eh heh heh.. But we all know that aqua marine is my favorite! No one could compare to my snuggly bunny huggily wuggily cutey pie Michiru."

Haruka: boxers or panties? --Jackie Chiang

This question was first put to Alt.Fan.Sailor-Moon by k-chan. So, if you want to see a wide variety of answers, look up the thread.

Now for my answer: chastity belt. And only Michiru has the key ;)

Whatever possessed Haruka to wear blue jammies in the SuperS special? --Mizuno Ami

Hey now! There's nothing wrong with blue jammies (nevermind that I'm wearing blue jammies right now :P ) That's not bad. The one that gets me is the yellow dress suit she wears >.< or that baby blue colored labcoat wannabe of a jacket of hers. You'd figure that she's old enough to dress herself, but I think Michiru should be at least checking over her choices in the morning...

Tomoe Hotaru

Why did Saturn's fuku change after the S season? --Blitz

Saturn did have a kick butt fuku in S ^^; And while the pokie earrings and choker are cool and such, they are extremely dangerous for small children. When Saturn was reborn, her mama's and papa took away the possible choking hazards. The only sharp item they left was the Silence Glaive because what child could possibly wield it?

Is Kenny in South Park related to Saturn? --Blitz

Ooh, you're refering to that whole live, die, live, die thing, aren't you? I do believe that they hold some relation as cousins, but I haven't been able to confirm it.

According to my sources, the reason Kenny has his hood pulled on so tight is to keep him from saying the word to end the world. (He's a rather vocal boy from what I understand).

What would happen if Hotaru got asked out on a date? --Jackie Chiang

I've asked the three parents about this. Setsuna was all in favor of Hotaru having an active social life (mostly due to living out her dreams through her daughter ;) Michiru explained to me how she and Haruka would handle the situation. In fact, they acted it out for me. Here is what they had to say:

Haruka: So you want to date our daughter?

Prospective lad (or lass if she were so inclined ;): Hai, Ten'ou-san.

Haruka: Michiru?

Michiru [after gazing in mirror]: He seems to be a good man.

Haruka [nod]: Very well. Let me establish a few ground rules. [Pulls out Space Sword and lays it across her lap].

Why doesn't Saturn have a castle (in the manga; it's named, but we never *see* it! Grr!)? -Katherine Wirick

Do realize what kind of morgage there would be on a castle?! The Outers are rich, but they aren't that loaded.

Chiba Mamoru

Okay, we all want to know. Where does Tuxedo Kamen really keep his roses? --Jackie Chiang

His roses are kept in the same dimensional pocket that he is. Ready to be used as a plot device whenever the fic writer/series producers need him to give a long speech.

Why are Tuxedo Kamen's speeches so corny? --Sailoreagle

With all these girls running around in short skirts with flashy attacks, he needed some kind of gimmick. His corny speechs are memorable at least...

Why does Mamoru always wear that crappy green jacket? Are the writers just lazy or does he just have really bad taste? --SMSG4Eva

There are a couple questions here. Why does he keep on wearing the same jacket? Because he likes it, of course! Now, his not having any taste color-wise is another story. (Which goes something along the lines of him refusing when Setsuna tried to talk him into a shopping trip with just the two of them.. ;)

Ok, why the hell doesn't Mamoru even FLINCH when Usagi's naked in the last ep? The logical answer would be that he's seen her like that a lot, but isn't Mamoru and Usagi's relationship unbelieveably innocent? -QTpie1213

Another dual question, does he breed these or something?

I ask you to consider poor Mamoru's position for a moment: After a season of getting no screen time, he is suddenly thrust back into the spotlight and expected to put on a good show for the dramatic ending of 5 seasons of work. This would be a challenge for any actor! I'm sorry to say that he just wasn't up to the challenge. Though, I must amend that it wasn't due to lack of skill, he had a cold right before being reincarnated and it put him out of sorts.

To answering your second question, of course they are innocent. I have to be able to cling to the belief that something is innocent and pure in this world. And their relationship is it :P

Where did the rumor of Setsuna's 'thing' for Mamoru come from? -Katherine Wirick

Minako. You see, she's quite a gossip, and one day she had seen Setsuna with Mamoru deep conversation (they were debating on the necessity of Chibi-Usa's birth, but anyways). It was so cute, so romantic, she just had to tell Mako-chan, and Rei, and Ami, and that lil kids playing in the sandbox, and..

The Cats

This may be rude, but what was Luna's biggest mistake?

Several things come to mind when you ask this... I could say picking Usagi, but she didn't have a choice in that. Living with Usagi, but she didn't have a choice in that either. Or being reborn in the first place, but you know the answer to that one.

Indeed, Luna's biggest mistake was a wasted opportunity. When she was turned into human form for the S movie, she should have stopped briefly to smack Usagi upside the head for the last 3 seasons of stupidity.

How does Artemis feel living with a girl? --Jackie Chiang

Contrary to what the hentai writers think, Artemis is a complete gentleman in regards to Minako. He does not look in on her in the shower. He does not go through her undergarments. The reason for this? Locks. Yes, Minako isn't as much as a ditz as she appears to be. She keeps the door to her room locked when she isn't in there and the door to the shower.

Their Senshi forms

What is the purpose of the tiaras they wear?

Depending upon the Senshi it has different affects. For example, as worn by Sailor Mercury, it works as a brain dampener. As worn by Sailor Venus, it works as a brain enhancer.

How come their skirts are so short?

[Face faults] I saw this question coming, honest!

There have been several reasons presented as to why they have such a good "leg to skirt ratio" (to quote a certain fic writer who thinks Jupiter has the optimal ratio...). And while all of these reasons are certainly plausible it is much simpler than most realize.

When the original character design sheets were being made there was a shortage of paint. To make it stretch for all of the designs as little as necessary was used. In fact, the bodysuits were supposed to be the solid color of the skirt and the skirt white, but it was less paint to do it the other way around. That is also why Sailor Venus and Uranus's front and back bows are different colors. They had ran out of paint on those characters.

How can they fight in heels? --Mich98

Magic. That is the best answer I can think of 'cause I can barely walk in the damn things. Jiro has no comment, but I doubt he could do any better...

Why do the Senshi-tachi wear nailpolish *under* their gloves? --Mizuno Ami

Why does your mom tell you to put on clean underwear before going out? Because, if they were in an accident or something, they wouldn't be seen as unstylish ;P

Where are they hiding the henshin sticks, anyway? --Mizuno Ami

Here was the rest of the question:

I was wondering, because I've seen Rei reach repeatedly into her shirt to fish it out, and Haruka in the SuperS special shook her arm and it slid out of her PJ sleeve from that direction. It just aroused my... curiousity. Or something. *Snicker*

Oh, didn't you realize that slight of hand tricks are part of the required senshi training? The sticks themselves are kept in a pocket on the inside of their jacket/shirt. Another example of their using slight of hand is when Usagi puts down a large amount of food. (You didn't believe she ate all that, did you?)

The Outer Senshi

This is a general question, but could you explain some of the difficulties the Outers experienced with raising chibi Hotaru?

Indeed, raising the young Hotaru was not as easy as it would seem. Yes, she was a sweet tempered tot, but she was a tot that was much more mature than she appeared to be. This very fact took them off guard occasionally.

For instance, Michiru was preparing a bottle for the child when she got the shock of her life (even more so than the Talismans). Chibi Hotaru could speak and this is what she had to say: "Yo M, hook me up with some of that milk action, and I'm not talking from the bottle either!"

This statement presented three problems. The first was Michiru's obvious lack of milk. The next was Hotaru's choice of words. The last (and worst) was the trouble Haruka-papa was in with Michiru-mama for watching certain movies with chibi Hotaru.

As you are sure to notice, Hotaru's speech patterns have been relieved of this. Though, I am unsure as to if Haruka is allowed by Michiru to watch anything other than films produced by Disney or not.

This could also explain the skill of Haruka's piano playing. I mean, if you could only watch Disney films, eventually you would find something else constructive to do with your time before insanity settled in...

Where did the Outers get all their money from?

The Carribean.

Okay, Smart A$$, how did the Outers get their money from the Carribean?

Oh, touch-y, you didn't ask that.

The story goes something like this. The Outer Senshi were of course loaded from their various ventures (racing, painting, concerts, just being cool). Unfortunately, some bad investment decisions lead to them running into some finacial tight spots.

(A side note: Haruka swore that she would never let chibi Hotaru pick the stocks they invested in again. But that was 2 years ago, chibi Hotaru is all grown up now at 16. She is also claiming that it was Haruka herself that picked the stocks. But I've digressed...)

So they needed to raise capital in a quick-like manner. To do this they went to the Carribean to relieve sunken ships of their riches. It was a very nice family outing, in fact. Haruka and Hotaru went scuba diving while Michiru swam leisurely. Setsuna (who had picked the exact location to drop anchor for the house boat they had rented) spent the week re-reading some books that she hadn't read in years.

They had recovered enough gold to invest in a good bull market. (This time Setsuna making the financial decisions). Thus they have been assured financial security for as long as fanfic writers care to allow them that.

How goes Haruka and Michiru's sexual life? < eg > --Jackie Chiang

[face faults] Ahem.. yes.. well.. their sex life. I'm afraid that I can't go into that here, but if you would like to read Tim Nolan's Anniversaries part 6, it is a tastefully done h-fic that goes into that subject. (Though, probably not enough for Jackie's tastes :P)

If Haruka and Michiru broke up, who would each of them go out with next? --Jackie Chiang

You're trying to get me in trouble, aren't you?

Okay.. Haruka, without Michiru, would become celibate because who could possibly match Michiru in bed?

Michiru would pimp around the fanfic scene teasing all the fanboys in their wet dreams. Fanboys have come up with all sorts of reasons to make her Haruka-less, and now that she is, she would taunt them.

Why does Pluto whisper "Dead Scream" and Saturn scream her Silence attacks? --Mizuno Ami

For Pluto, laryngitis. Poor woman, she had so little screen time to begin with too. She was suppose to scream like a banshee according to the original script.

On Saturn's behalf, she was being defiant. The idea of keeping silent after she was portrayed as a quiet goth during the S season snapped her. She had a voice and she wanted it to be heard!

Everyday life

What is in each of their closets? --Aimee

What are you, some mad obsessed otaku who is stalking them and wants all the dirt on their personal lives? Oh.. okay, me too ;)

• Minako: All of her Sailor V merchandise
• Mako-chan: Growing booths, like the junkies use for growing marijuana, but Mako-chan uses them for normal plants
• Rei: Her robes and ecchi magazines
• Usagi: A mess, and some of Rei's magazines
• Ami: Books and Ryo-kun (that's where he disappeared to after his second appearance o_O)
• Hotaru: Her secret chocolate milk stash, along with all the rotten gifts Chibi-usa gives her but she doesn't have the heart to get rid of
• Setsuna: Clothes from time periods going hundreds (if not thousands) of years back in fashion. Also a portal a la The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
• Michiru: A pair of water wings, woman's magazines, and a passage way that leads to the 98¢ store
• Haruka: Frilly dresses (so that she can look pretty ;) hidden behind her tuxedos and racing firesuits
• The hall closet: HarukaandMichiru.. ahem.. @.@ [closes the door quickly and makes a hasty retreat]

If the senshi know what their future will be, why do they bother going to school? --Jane

Why, to set an example of course! What sort of message would it send if the future defenders of the world had skipped during their younger years? Mistakes of the past have a funny way of coming up in the most inopportune times, something they fully realize.

What things are in the senshi's pockets? --Jane

o_O; You want to see me dead, don't you? Like I'm going to stick my hand in the their pockets... If they didn't accuse me of trying to rob them, they'd say I was going for a feel and then smite my beanie hide. NoThankYou! I'm much too fond of living!

Bad guys.. er.. gals

Who on earth would insure Eudial's car? --Jackie Chiang

I have no clue, but I'd sure as hell like to know.. I could use some coverage like that for my car..

If Kaolinite showed up at the lab one day stark naked, would Tomoe-sensei notice? -Katherine Wirick

Hentai! Ecchi! I like it!

To answer, probably not, but the fanboy viewship would have enjoyed a significant jump after that episode. Then people would be wondering have someone from La Blue Girl slid into the animation staff of Sailor Moon...