"Mature" Updated for Beanie: March 3, 1998 Notes: -Must get granny into this some more -Um, this sucks, any questions? --- means just a change in time *** means a switch between past and present ------------------------------------------------------------ She laid her head against the woman's chest. The woman gently rocked on the porch swing, slowly, back and forth as she held the child in her arms. A soft breeze blew over them. "Grandma?" the girl whispered, nestling against her. Warmth flooded through her entire body, tingling. Safety, comfort. "Michiru-chan?" she responded, stroking her thick sea green hair with a wrinkled hand, firm and old, but retaining its kindly demeanor. "I'm going to catch the wind one day..." Her voice drifted off, and she yawned, nodding sleepily to emphasize her point. Her grandmother laughed quietly, kissing her on the forehead. "Where ever your destiny leads you, child." The other muttered something incomprehensible, already asleep. The old woman laughed again, securing her arms around her granddaughter more tightly as she gazed down at the sleeping form. "The daughter of destiny, my Kaioh Michiru..." ***** She brushed her sea green hair slowly, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she recalled how upset her mother had been when she had refused to go to the violin concert that evening, in which she was the guest performer. "Destiny, fate. These forces, one in the same, rule our entire lives, Michiru-chan. Never forget that." Her grandmother had told her that when she was growing up. Michiru fondly recalled visiting her on weekends, oftentimes more than that. Her parents were always so busy, and more than once she had been left under her grandmother's charge while they were away, attending their duties. Michiru had never minded. Her grandmother was a warm, caring person, one that she admired deeply. The older woman had shaped a child's entire life for her, teaching her bits of wisdom, reciting thoughtful anecdotes on life, showing her the path on which to form her future on. Under her gentle guidance, Michiru had become the woman she was today. Michiru's mother could never understand the bond she and her grandmother shared, as much as she loved the both of them. It was simply too much to ask of her, she was incable of comprehending the significance of the basis of their love. Her mother had been, it seemed, so Grandmother had claimed, been skipped over when it came to believing in destiny in their family. It had always been an important belief, one that Michiru's mother failed to recognize as anything more than idealistic, romantic view of the world. So it hardly surprised her when her mother hadn't understood why she wasn't going to perform that night. She had accepted it, not without some anger or persuasion on her part, but grudgingly so. They had had this argument before, many times, on all types of different things. Michiru had gone to her room after the argument, skipping dinner. To be more precise, it was more of a monologue given by her mother on what a terrible mistake she was making, she thought to herself smiling, vaguely amused. Her mother needed time to get over her... stage, she supposed. Besides, she herself wanted some time to think by herself in the solitude of her room. Falling back onto her bed, she had stared at the ceiling thoughtfully, wondering how the concert would do without her. It was a sold out performance, but not just because of her, she acknowledged. There was a famous celloist there, as well as that much admired violaist... A knock on the door a few hours later had hardly startled her. The opposite was the truth; she had been expecting it. Her mother opened the door uncertainly, entering when she saw Michiru sit up and swing her legs over the side of her bed. She wore a strange expression on her lovely face. She moved to stand at the side of the bed, where she paused, apparently collecting her thoughts before she spoke. "Michiru, I just received a phone call from the conductor. Tonight... Something happened at the concert... At the beginning, one of the lights above the stage fell from the rafters. No one was hurt, but... It's so odd, he said that had you been there, it's likely you might have been injured; it fell near the spot where you were supposed to have stood." Michiru didn't say anything at the news, only letting out her breath slowly when her mother had left her alone, still in a minor state of confusion and shock. It was fate that had told her not to attend. A single uneasy feeling, one that she could not dismiss as pre-concert jitters. It had been, she thought now, more of a sick queasiness in her stomach, but more than that, touching her mind, spreading throughout her heart. A warning. She set down her brush, staring into the mirror. Things were set, always predestined. She always accepted her destiny; to fight it would be pointless, a waste of energy, only avert the forthcoming disaster. Disaster and pain... Destiny always seemed to include those forces in her life. ***** She gave an angry cry, half ready to slam her violin onto the ground, but holding back once she remembered how much it had cost. Instead, she opted for sitting down on the ground and crossing her arms in a sulky manner over her chest petulantly. "Michiru-chan," her grandmother said to her, softly reprimanding. "I hate this!" she announced with six-year-old forwardness. She gave her grandmother an angry look before sending a vicious look at the cursed instrument. "It sounds terrible! This is too hard!" "Come here, Michiru-chan." Her voice was soft and cajoling, warmly calling to the stubborn child. Michiru glanced up again, narrowing her eyes as she stuck out her lip. When the woman didn't give in to her tantrum, she slowly crawled to where her grandmother sat and climbed into her lap. She stared into her blue eyes, exactly like her own. The old woman's hair was a dull, soft blue-green color, a lock of which the child latched onto with a small hand. "Don't be discouraged, dear," she said encouragingly, patting her hand. "These things take time. You're already a very talented child, Michiru-chan." The girl sniffled, suddenly resorting to sadness as a final emotion, tears welling up in her eyes. "But I want to do it _now_! Because if I don't... I'll be a failure, and Mama and Papa will be so upset with me..." "Then don't fail," her grandmother pointed out. She smiled then to soften the meaning behind her words as she wiped the other's face. She sighed softly, pausing before murmuring, "I've never told this to you before... But you have been destined for greatness... God has seen to that. I have known that since before you were even born. And now I know that I am right, that you are the child of destiny. I see it in your music, in your art, in your beauty..." "Really?" Michiru asked her hopefully, hugging her tightly, as the old woman nodded, smiling. "Then... If you say so, it has to be true... Ok! I promise to keep on trying, for you, Grandma." The woman laughed, kissing her forehead, and Michiru giggled. A thought struck her, and she paused as she attempted to articulate it, then asked outright, "Is everything destined?" Her grandmother held her hand, squeezing it tightly. "Destiny is what makes us who we are. One day, you will see it, when the time comes." ***** Michiru braided her green hair quickly with nimble fingers that she had gained from playing the violin for so long. She studied herself in the mirror for a brief second, seeing the dark lines beneath her eyes, before running out of the room. "Michiru-chan!" Her mother called as she raced down the stairs and towards the front door. "Aren't you hungry?" "I'll get something to eat later, Mother," she yelled back impatiently as she paused for a moment at the closet to yank a light jacket off the hanger and pull it around herself. "I'm late already!" It was so uncharacteristic of her to be late, she told herself as she picked up her violin case and school folder, ran out, and slammed the door shut behind her. Then, she ruefully added to herself, it was also uncharacteristic of her to be rude to her mother... But damn it all, she had had another nightmare again. She hadn't been able to sleep very well afterwards, staring at the ceiling with eyes that refused to shut, wondering over and over in her mind why... Why her, why now, why her dreams would become realities... Morning had brought little comfort to her, and she had finally succumbed to the exhaustion that had eaten at her mind throughout the night. She rubbed her temples awkwardly while holding her school folder and violin case, shifting them to both sides so she wouldn't fall over. Her headache from the lack of sleep was slowly fading, but this cold weather wasn't helping her in the slightest. The third night in a row. They could stop anytime soon, she thought irritably. She was well aware of the fact that they dealt with her destiny. It wasn't as if she couldn't recognize the signs, particularly ones as obvious as these. The world being destroyed... She still turned all cold when she thought about it, even in broad daylight, in warm sunlight. The dreams, so picture perfect, as if she was actually living it, seeing it with her own eyes the moment they happened... What sort of _thing_ could cause that? The first time, she had almost screamed aloud, but as she woke, she had caught herself in time by biting her tongue, drawing blood. She had been shivering, sweating, cold all over. It had taken her nearly half an hour to calm herself down enough so that she finally stopped trembling, even as images of what she had seen flashed through her mind over and over again. She shook involuntarily again. I have to get my mind off this, Michiru thought. But I can't... It's going to be with me forever. Burned into my mind, the same scene over and over and over again... She tortured herself because of her weakness, her inability to control her own thoughts and feelings. You have a school recital today. Calm yourself, relax. You don't want to disappoint everyone there. This is the last performance before school lets out next week. Then you'll have a few weeks to yourself, to do what you want to do, to sort out these problems. She sighed, closing her blue eyes for a moment, drawing in a deep breath. The cool air filled her lungs, and she liked the feeling, the cleansing purity that it sent throughout her body. She grinned to herself, suddenly more carefree than she could remember feeling for a long time. Her mind was suddenly clear and focused only on spreading that feeling, concentrating it. She ran the rest of the way to school. ----- Nervously, she twisted her hands together, rubbing them quickly, slowly, softly, tightly. Just forget it, she told herself. You've never been so uptight before, why start now? She stood up, continuing the rubbing motion to her arms as she paced around the room. This could determine your entire future. It would be your first painting in a museum. Mother would be so thrilled... She laughed softly at herself. You _sound_ like Mother... Your entire future. Yet she knew how happy her parents would be if she went home and told them that she had just sold one of her paintings to a museum. To be on exhibit, to be seen by all. Wasn't that the ambition of all artists? Painting was one of the options she considered in her life, for her life. Music versus painting, both art. She smiled slightly. Her parents supported her in both areas, though she knew what her mother wished her to choose. Her mother herself was a gifted painter, having taught her daughter, or rather, having passed on the skill, of creating masterpieces, creating beauty and life, with a simple tools- a few brushes, some paint, canvas. But the violin. It was magic, incredible, it filled her in a different way than painting, something more, something wonderful... And it filled a strange aching inside of her that she could not identify, some strange emptiness that she felt at times yet could never understand... You're young, she had been told repeatedly, still so young and already such a gifted prodigy, genius, artist. And such a _bright_ girl, a wonderful student; a gracious, well-mannered, elegant child, one that possessed grace, charm, and style. The perfect child. The words affected her little. Why should they? She simply had more of a talent for painting and music than most people, and her grades came easily to her. As for being a well behaved child, why should she not be one? Manners and etiquette were carefully engrained into her mind since she was little, and now they were part of her nature, her personality. They were her. And no matter how much she would believe the compliments she was fed, her reality would strike them down, one by one. Adults held such strange perceptions of the world, and children others. While many of her peers admired her, a great deal more hated her, mocked her, for the simple fact that they could never understand her. They wouldn't want to be me... Never, she thought then, reminded of her visions. No sane person would want to receive them. She smiled slowly, her mind shifting to something else. The museum curator entered the room approximately ten minutes later, a bustling smile on his face. "Congragulations, Kaioh-san," he said, shaking her hand politely, "your work is absolutely magnificent. We would love to exhibit some more of it at a gallery display this Saturday." An incredulous smile spread across her lips, and she flushed slightly. "Do you really mean it?" she asked, doubting the reality of his words. "With your permission, of course," he nodded. She laughed. "I'd be thrilled!" she admitted. "Good," he said. He shook her hand again. She thanked him several times, excitement barely contained, and the first person she went to tell was her grandmother. ***** She watched her walk in casually, a bored demeanor on her face. Attractive? Oh, yes, she drawled to herself, smiling as she saw the other girls in the class stare at the blond in silence. She ignored them, throwing her books onto a random desk and sitting down. The bell rang a few minutes later, but Michiru found herself unable to concentrate in class. Her attention kept straying back to that boyish girl in front of the class, who was apparently still bored; not that she could blame her, the teacher wasn't one of the most interesting at Mugen Gakuen. The blond girl began to scan around the room disinterestedly, and Michiru caught her gaze for a brief second, one that the other didn't even seem to notice, but that was all right. She already had what she wanted to know. She could still hear Setsuna telling her quite clearly that she had a partner, someone she could recognize instantly, whose facades and illusions would melt away, no matter how perfect they were, someone she felt an instant connection to. Did attraction constitute as a connection? She blushed furiously at the thought. Yes, the blond was quite handsome [very much so], but she wasn't the type to instantly fall for any person who she found handsome or attractive. Actually, she didn't fall for anyone, she corrected herself. She had no time, and even more so now, what with finding the other senshi and the Talismans. The teacher finished his welcoming speech, smiling warmly, and said, "I know we have several transfer students here, so why don't each of you stand up, give us your name, and say something about yourself? We'll start at this side of the room." He indicated the first room near the door, the exact opposite row in which she was sitting at, which was near the windows. She found it nice being there- when she grew tired of class she could always look on the outside world to amuse herself until the end of the period. The first girl stood up, blushing nervously, and introduced herself. Michiru recognized most of the students in the class already, but she continued waiting patiently. All she wanted to know was that blond girl's name... It came to be her turn, and Michiru refocused her attention back upon her. The blond stood up, smiling charmingly at the class. Well, she certainly wasn't the shy type. She spoke, and Michiru had to blink twice to convince herself that yes, this was a girl, her voice only sounded like a man's. "Tenoh Haruka. I just moved to this area. I enjoy driving around in my car." That was it. Haruka sat down abruptly. Michiru smiled a little bit, amused by her introduction. Simple and to the point. "Tenoh-san... Isn't he so handsome?" A girl whispered loudly from next to her. She glanced at her, bemused, as the rest of the girls in her class giggled. More than handsome, more than interesting, Michiru thought to herself as class began. You told me to be looking, Setsuna-san. I think I've found her... ------ Lunch was brief. Michiru ate quickly, tended to do that all the time, seeing as lunch hour had been deemed the time when all the boys in her classes decided, one by one, to come up to her and either try to make a pass at her or to ask her out. She didn't need any of it, preferred not to have it. All of the previous year, she had eaten rapidly, then went off to her private spot in back of the school, where no one went, where she would sit and read or draw. It was peaceful, rather pretty because the entire school was carefully tended, including the back, so she could study flowers that were growing there or just relax. She had dumped her trash in a bin and was about to go there when she noticed Haruka walking outside, carrying her bento lunch. The blond ignored all the invitations from the girls calling out to her to sit with them, going to a bench that was made for only two people, and deliberately spreading out her lunch so no one could sit next to her. Michiru was about to walk over to her, but thought better of it, remaining in the area and leaning against a tree to watch her. Could she really be her partner? She wondered. In class, she had thought so. But then again, she berated herself, she was mildly infatuated with Haruka already, simply based on her looks and the three short sentences she had said in class. You're a sad, sad case, Michiru. Turning into just a normal, everyday girl drooling over the next handsome face. She sighed. As of late, she tended to more and more often mock herself for no particular reason other than to remind herself that her life had changed, _she_ had changed, she could not afford to indulge in normal activities... Normal, regular activities that average girls took for granted... Haruka spotted her, and her eyes- green, bright green- narrowed, and Michiru steadily returned her gaze. She was surprised when the other suddenly stood up and walked away. That was rather unexpected... But now she was almost certain; she had read so much in that gaze, seen so much untapped power, potential, and she had felt that certain connection Setsuna had mentioned... She recalled the orders precisely- she was to find out everything about those she suspected of being more than the average person. **** She grinned, throwing her arms around the old woman's neck. "I'm so excited, Grandma!" she said, unable to control the emotion she spoke of. "This is the best thing that's happened to me!" The woman laughed. "No, Michiru-chan," she corrected softly, "there is something better waiting in the future." "Ara... What could be better than this?" the girl asked, smiling. "Isn't this the fate you told me of? This might be what I'll do with the rest of my life. And it isn't bad either, Mother will be love the news." Her grandmother set the timer on the oven for forty minutes, then shook her head. "Michiru-chan, you are getting side tracked. Remember, you will know your fate when the time comes. It will be unlike any other realization you have ever had in your life, and I know that this is not it." Michiru leaned onto the counter, resting her chin against her hands. "I know, Grandma," she said. "I just can't imagine what fate could offer me. I have everything I want already- Mother, Father, painting, the violin, swimming, and especially you." "You're still young, Michiru-chan," her grandmother told her gently, coming around the counter to hug her. "One day, you'll meet someone special who will be the most important person in your life." The green haired girl shook her head. "I'm not sure," she admitted, though she sounded more thoughtful than disappointed. "I don't like any of the boys at Mugen Gakuen... And most girls my age already have boyfriends. I just haven't found any need to get one. No, I don't think that it will happen. You'll always be the most important to me." "What about when I go?" she asked softly, brushing the girl's hair out of her face. "Go?" Michiru looked at her, startled, confusion in her eyes, as if she hadn't considered what the other had just said. "Don't say that, Grandma," she said slowly, firmly. "You're still so healthy, you'll live for another twenty years. And if I do meet someone, I'd want to bring him here for you to meet." "Oh, I'd approve of anyone you would choose," the old woman murmured, as she released her granddaughter and went to wash the dishes, Michiru following her. She turned on the water, taking a sponge out and began to scrub some of the dirty plates on the counter. "You wouldn't just choose anyone. When you fall in love, it will be the real thing." "And will I know that just like that?" the younger woman asked, as she stood next to her and began drying with a clean towel. "Of course," she said without pause. "Your intuition is part of what makes you so unique, child." Michiru fell silent, her pace slowing as something surfaced in her mind. "Grandma..." she said slowly. "Yes, dear?" she asked, busily attacking some crusty things off a plate. "Do you think that I'm normal?" the girl said. She blushed. "I mean, do you think that I fit in very well at school? Why haven't I found any close friends yet?" "You're different. People don't understand those who are different, they can't see how someone can be what you are without feeling jealous or resentful." **** **** She slowly walked out of the hospital, her parents on either side of her. It was better that way, she doubted she could have found her way out had they not gently led her through the halls. ***** She opened her gym locker, not amused as she watched a few dozen love letters fall out. Why don't they ever leave me alone? she wondered, annoyed, throwing them out into a trash can that the other girls had brought in specifically for her. She knew that when she left, they came and read them, but she didn't care too much for the boys who were gossiped about the next day; any boy who had the nerve to come into a _girls'_ locker room deserved to be talked about. "More letters today, Kaioh-san?" a girl asked her as she took out her gym uniform. It was teasing; while many of the girls hated her, many others found her pleasant company and thought all her trials with her hated letters very entertaining. The sea green haired girl nodded briefly as she lifted up her shirt over her head. "If you changed in the _boys'_ locker room, it would save all the rest of us the trouble of worrying about boys sneaking into here to put letters into your locker," another commented, and that got a round of laughter from the others. "Did you hear about what happened earlier, by the way?" the girl next to her asked. "No, what?" one of the blonds asked curiously, lifting her head up from tying her shoelaces. "I heard that Tenoh Haruka came in _here_ to change! Can you imagine the nerve of that guy?" "Maybe he was confused?" a black haired girl suggested, though it was a weak argument based on her infatuation for him. "Ecchi!" someone answered emphatically, and that received a round of nods from a few. ------- "Why do you want to meet her?" Elza lifted her long neck, squirting water into her mouth from the bottle. She swallowed, wiping her mouth as she smiled at the girl standing in front of her. Michiru was certainly a unique girl, though quiet, prefering to keep herself, but they were friends, ever since Elza had discovered her sitting in the stands while she ran, sketching pictures of her. "She strikes me as an interesting girl," Michiru answered lightly, smiling to herself as she recounted the locker room scene. "I'd like to ask her if she would model for some of my pictures; she had that certain type of build, and I think I could do some nice sketches of her." The red haired track runner shrugged as she wiped her face with her towel lying on the bench, not fully buying her explaination, surely Michiru could just ask her in school, she _did_ have classes with the blond, but knowing better than to ask. While friends, Michiru avoided certain topics and questions about herself, and Elza had learned to not pry when it was obvious she did not want to talk, considering it a privilege to be even remotely close to the girl. "Sure, we have a track meet tomorrow. I'll introduce you after I win the race." Michiru giggled at her joking arrogance, pulling strands of hair behind her ear. "You're so modest, Elza..." She let her voice drift off, before asking casually, "Is Tenoh-san really a good runner? I've only seen her around school, and I've heard that she's amazing, even being compared to the wind." "She _is_ amazing," Elza admitted ruefully, laughing, pulling on her jacket. "I've honestly never met a runner so talented before... To say that she's like the wind is an understatement... It would be more accurate to call her the wind, she's so fast... So damn fast." Her voice held a touch of sadness to it, her hand pausing in midair before finally grabbing her bag, and she shook her head, laughing at herself. "But one day, I'll beat her." The other girl smiled kindly at her. "I'm sure you will, Elza. You're so dedicated to running." She glanced at her watch. "I have to be going now, I have a violin practice this afternoon. Thanks for your help. I'll meet you after the race tomorrow, all right?" "Sure thing," the runner answered easily. She saluted, then waved, strolling away with her bag slung over her back. She stopped midway, remembering that she had wanted to ask Michiru where she would be sitting, and turned around. "Hey, Mich-" The words died off her lips as she realized that no one was there. ***** Tears in her eyes, and she wiped them away quickly with her hand. She wouldn't want to see me like this, not at all. Don't cry, try to be brave, please, for her. Don't cry, don't cry, she ordered herself as she opened the door, tightly clutching the flowers in her hand, like a child, ignoring the thorns she had forgotten to trim. She neared the bed, forcing a smile on her face. The woman lay there, her eyes closed. A surge of fright ran through her, and she dropped the flowers, bending towards her, and sighing, relieved, when she heard the gentle breathing. She's still alive... She bent down to pick up the flowers, accidentally pricking herself again, but not noticing. Walking over to a small white dresser on the side of the room, she put the roses in a vase filled with water- the nurses had been expecting her. Then she sat down in the chair next to the bed to watch the figure sleeping peacefully. The low buzz of the machines attached to her arms with thin tubes, tubes that revolted her, hummed in her ears, and she shifted uneasily in her chair. There was something too unnatural about all of this, and she knew it, had known it, they all did. Her grandmother did not deserve to be here, should not be here. The woman's eyes opened slightly then, and a small smile crept across her face. "Michiru-chan," she whispered softly. "You've come to visit me?" "Hi, Grandma," Michiru murmured, dropping a gentle kiss on her cheek, trying desperately not to concentrate on how pale she was, how her hair looked so gray. "I brought you some flowers... How are things going today?" "The same, dear." She laughed weakly. "I'm as fine as I can be..." She peered at her granddaughter, noticed how worried and tense her beautiful face was [she was beautiful, more so than her mother, she noted with pride], how she fidgeted [so unlike her], how her fingers seemed to want to war with each other in her lap. She let out a long sigh, her head aching, her breathing strained. "Grandma? Are you all right?" Michiru was immediately holding her hand tightly. "Is your chest hurting again? I'll get a nurse, she can give you your medication." "No, child, it's not that..." And such a sweet girl, I wish I could see her grow up, fall in love... But I've lived my life, it's time for me to move on, to something else, something better than life. "I want to tell you something... important..." "Yes, Grandma?" The girl knealt down on the ground beside her, both her hands covering her grandmother's. She felt the old woman tremble slightly, and she noticed how thin the hand was, how bony, how delicate and fragile... "You know... That destiny... runs in your veins, in your blood... Destiny, fate, one in the same... They are you. Everyone has... their destiny... And mine has been fulfilled..." "You're not going to die," Michiru said angrily, her voice shaking at her words. "You can't just give up! I won't let you." "Don't... You can't do anything more... Except one thing... Live out _your_ destiny... Don't ignore the signs... Your destiny is to save us..." She smiled again, but something was wrong, why did it look like she was in pain? And she was even whiter than before, how could she be, see the pale blue veins running under her skin, oh God, she can't die, she can't die. She's laboring on her breaths, her words, they're choppy, spread too far apart, her chest, rising and falling, her grasp on her hand getting weaker... "No..." She whispered in denial. "No! I don't care about my destiny, I just want you to get better, Grandma! Please! I love you!" "I love you too" came the faint whisper, and the beautiful blue eyes of the most important person in the world to her shut forever, and her body silently became still. "Don't!" Michiru screamed at her, tears running down her face as she slid to the ground, still holding onto her hand. "Don't leave me! You can't abandon me! You're the only one who understands me! Grandma!" ***** True to her word, Elza found Michiru next to the bench to greet her after the race. "Congratulations on second, Elza," she said warmly, her smile kind. "You were fantastic out there." "But I didn't win," Elza sighed, drinking some cold water quickly to soothe her thirst. She sighed, shaking her red hair, using her towel to wipe the sweat off her face. "Tenoh-san is really something... Her fifth meet, still unbeatable... I was hoping that maybe I had improved enough to get an edge on her today..." Her hand tightened on the bottle, whispering to herself, "I _will_ beat her the next time..." She shook her head again to dispell her thoughts, then smiled easily, widely at her friend. "Well, you wanted to meet her, right? We have to catch her before she leaves, she never sticks around afterwards." Elza led her over to one of the far benches at the side of the track, where Haruka was zipping up her pullover suit, her face indicating her preoccupation with her own thoughts. "Tenoh-san," she called, and the blond turned around to face them, a puzzled look on her face. The red head grinned, "Tenoh-san, I'd like you to meet my friend, Kaioh Michiru," and lifted her hand in the direction of the girl, who stepped forward. Michiru smiled warmly at her, and Haruka nodded casually. She saw that Haruka, after a few moments, recognized her, her small smile an indication of that, perhaps finally figuring out that they were in several of the same classes together. Keeping her voice casually steady, as to not turn her off, she said, "I've been watching you, Tenoh-san. I find you to be quite interesting. I would like to do some sketches of you." The girl wasn't quite sure what happened next. Haruka seemed to be thinking about her offer, almost apparently on the verge of accepting it, but suddenly said coolly, her manner completely changed, "I'm not interested." She gave a brief nod to Elza, who returned it, and walked away, her bag slung over her shoulder. Michiru dropped her eyes, not only disappointed, but hurt. -------- She closed her eyes, brushing her fingers through her hair. She hated this. She couldn't sleep; once again, her thoughts had kept her up for the entire night. Thoughts about Haruka, no less. Why wouldn't she stay out of her mind? It was so- so... She couldn't explain it, not even to herself... Or rather, she didn't want to admit what she was feeling to herself... Stop. She was attractive, that was it. Haruka was simply the first person she had ever really been attracted to, so it was natural that she should think more about her than anyone she had ever met before... "You're only investigating her, that's all you're supposed to be doing," she whispered to herself in the dark, rubbing her arms to warm herself- she felt strangely cold then, even though it was mid-May, and the window let in warm breezes. "Remember what Setsuna-san said... Remember your mission, your destiny." She slowly sank back down into the covers, pulling them around her tightly as she lay her head on her soft pillow. It's for this world's future, not myself, she snapped to herself before shutting her eyes. -------- Ignoring her, pushing her away... She's trying to turn me off, has been trying for the past two weeks... Every day, it's the same thing, no matter how many times I approach her, she's always suddenly busy, has omething to do, someplace to go, or she just pretends I'm not there... It was so frustrating! Had she been anyone else, she might have given up. Had her situation been different, she might have stopped trying. Had it been anyone but Haruka, she would have long ago accepted the other's actions. But she wasn't, it wasn't, the other wasn't. As she sat drawing idly in her sketchbook, staring across the lake in the park, she recounted to herself the numerous rejections the blond had dealt her. If she tried to begin talking with her about anything- the classes they shared together, Haruka's latest track meet, the weather, anything at all- the other girl became suddenly busy, had someplace to go, some person to meet. She pretended not to hear her, or, generally, avoided contact with her to begin with, immediately latching on to the nearest person in an important 'conversation.' It was a clear message, she understood it perfectly. And for that very reason she ignored it- that, as far as Michiru could see, annoyed and confused the other. Still, she could hardly give up. There were too many things on the line for her to walk away then, and her sense of duty, to herself, to her destiny, to her future, was too strong to let her do so. She looked down, blinking, startled, as she saw that she had been drawing a faint sketch of Haruka without even meaning to. **** She gently laid the bouquet of roses onto the grave near the headstone, damp and slick with the water, next to the other tokens of remembrance that had been placed there before her. She bowed her head as she stood, murmuring a small prayer to God to watch over her loved one, then turned. Her blue eyes drifted to the sky. Rain. The earth was still crying, or so it seemed, in pain and sorrow. Her own tears had been spent, there was nothing left inside except for a dull ache. Her sudden glance upwards was no coincidence- something, an unnamed force, had automatically drawn her gaze to the woman clothed in black, her long green hair falling to her waist, a dark umbrella in her hand. She was watching her, silently, a sympathetic, understanding look in her dark red eyes. It was her, she thought easily. She had been expecting her. Without a word, she walked to the woman who she had never met before in her life, letting her draw her underneath the protection of the umbrella and lead her away without a backwards glance. *** She had been on the verge of politely declining the request when a particular name from the guest list caught her attention. Her carefully rehearsed refusal, the one she duitfully recited to all the requests that she didn't want, was immediately replaced by an about-face agreement. She accepted the invitation to play for that single night. She looked at herself in the mirror, turning a few times to allow the skirts to sway around her ankles. The dress, she noted with a critical eye, was suitable- demure and quiet, but graceful, stylish, and a subtle tasteful charm. It would do for all purposes intended. Tuning her violin, she sat in her room, prepared for when she would begin, sharply at eight, around the time beverages would be served to the present company. Idly, her thoughts drifted to Haruka, and then away again as she became embarrassed by the direction in which they were headed. "You're not supposed to think that way," she scolded herself. Why was it that whenever she thought of the tall blond, who acted so coolly to her, so indifferent and impatient, her heart began to speed up unnaturally? It couldn't be- no. No, it wasn't. That was the last thing on her mind. Several minutes later, a knock at her door drew her out of her thoughts. "Kaioh-san," someone called, "we're ready." Standing up slowly, she walked to the door. Her hand paused at the knob, and she closed her eyes for a minute, briefly, clearing her mind. Then she opened the door and headed towards the stage. She walked up the steps carefully, and when completely on, she faced her audience. She bowed slightly, and they applauded politely, another violinist after all, just another one in a million in the world... That's the way it should have been... Don't think about that now. It's too late. She fitted the violin against her chin, and her hand gripped the bow lightly but firmly, and she began to play. It was one that she had always enjoyed- it had been one of the first she had mastered when she was younger, and she always regarded it with a touch of sentimentality. Appropriate for such short notice, but it was also a lovely piece. Her eyes opened slightly, strayed to those in the audience, searching. They finally rested upon the one she sought, and she studied her beneath her half closed gaze, wondering what she was thinking. She seemed vaguely uncomfortable, resting her head against her arm, shifting every so often very slightly, almost not at all. Finally, the blond stood, pushing away from the table, and walking away, down the walkway towards the inner chambers of the ship. She watched her all while the other moved, never for a second taking her eyes off her. Once Haruka had gone, she ended the playing a few seconds later to impressed applause, but she had no time for it, smiling and bowing for the sake of politeness, then quickly followed took an alternate way into the chamber she knew Haruka would be. When she arrived inside the room, Haruka was gazing at the painting she had done, several months back, right around when she had first received her visions. What had possessed her to paint it, she hadn't known at the time, but it was all so clear to her now. 'The End of the World.' A fitting title. She settled herself down on the landing of the stairs, watching Haruka for several minutes in silence. It was amazing, she thought, how long she could just _watch_ her, and watch her contentedly- for hours, maybe, perhaps longer. A strange, sharp feeling hit her, and she looked down at her hands, staring at them, attempting to assess what exactly it was she felt for Haruka. Admiration? Certainly. She wanted to be friends, of course, and not just because she was trying to find out more about her life... If she had just met Haruka on the street, no strings attached, nothing to keep her from remaining cautiously apart... Things would be different... She wouldn't be so damn reserved about this whole thing... But they weren't. Things were what they were, and that was tough, but she had learned long ago that destiny worked both ways, good and bad. Uncertainly, she lifted her gaze towards the figure on the stairs, and when she spoke, it was as if her heart had decided to speak instead of her mind, for the words that fell out were not the ones she had intended to say: "You're very famous. There is someone who would like to ride with you in your car." Haruka stared at her, surprised first off that she was there, and a strange light flickered in her eyes at the words, but she turned back around, making no comment, to study her painting. "How is it that a gentle girl like you could paint something so violent?" she asked, half out of curiousity, half cynically. Michiru had to smile at that. She thinks I'm gentle? she thought, amused. Deceived by appearances. Strange, coming from her of all people. "It isn't my imagination," she explained, her voice low, the underlying meaning apparent. "This is my destiny... like yours." Her gaze swung towards hers, and their eyes connected for a long time, the green ones turbulent, emotions flashing violently through them, disbelief, shock, anger, contempt- and for a brief second, hope... And then she snorted, her voice cold. "Nonsense!" she snapped. "The only thing that I am interested in is racing. If this is the future, than _you_ deal with it because I don't want to. Will you please stop investigating me, there's nothing to know." Anger. Yes, that was anger that was surging through her. How dare she. How dare Haruka mock every single damn thing she had ever believed in, every person she had trusted and loved, throwing all her work, all her dreams, all her own hopes and all that she was right back at her? And for selfishness... Her hands tightened in her lap. "Do you think that _I_ want to deal with it?" she whispered harshly. "I want life to be like a happy little fairy tale, but it isn't. You think I don't have my own dreams? I want to play the violin. That is what interests me." Why can't she _see_? Why can't she understand? Michiru demanded with her eyes, locked with Haruka's. The other didn't answer, maybe she didn't even know the questions... "Stay out of my life, Kaioh Michiru," she finally said, turning around and leaving her alone. --- "It's so nice to meet you, Kaioh-san," the woman greeted, her smile bright, her voice polite, as she led the girl inside the house. "Tenoh-san," she murmured softly in acknowledgement. She looked around at her settings. The house was small, yet elegant, and on the outside it displayed incredible charm. The inside was beautiful, decorated tastefully, lovely flowers arranged on a gleaming, dark mahogeny table and a small, beautiful mirror on the wall opposite of the main entrace. Haruka had bought this for her parents, as the records she had read indicated. She had purchased it a few months before the beginning of the school year, giving it to her mother and father to 'house sit,' so to speak. She must love them very much, Michiru reflected, though she knew that Haruka was on strained terms with her mother. Haruka's mother was an attractive woman, fine blond hair, similar to Haruka's coloring, and stately, though Michiru herself was a few inches taller than she. She led the girl into the living room, showing her the couch to sit on while seating herself across from her. "So, Kaioh-san, you are Haruka's friend?" the woman asked. Michiru gave no indication of hearing the slight disapproval in her tone as she said her daughter's name, nodding instead. "I want to thank you for having me over, Tenoh-san. I realize that I must be taking up some of your valuable time, but as I mentioned to you over the phone, we're doing a report at school where we have to meet our partner's parents." She lied smoothly, without any change in tone, manner, or any hesitation. "It's quite all right." Haruka's mother smiled at her. "I must admit, that I had my doubts. But I've always felt that studies are very important for a young lady... Which you appear to be." Michiru blushed faintly. Her eyes shifted to a picture on the mantel of the fireplace. It was framed in gold, and inside was a photograph of a young Haruka, hair braided, smiling, though it was forced, with her two parents on either side of her. "That's a lovely picture," she complimented, indicating the one she had been studying. "The man on the left is Haruka's father?" The other glanced at it, eyes barely sweeping over. "Yes. He owns a bakery chain. He should be home shortly, and you can meet him then." "Haruka looks so different." "Yes, she does," Haruka's mother agreed, her disappointment clear. "She made such a cute girl, her hair was lovely, always plaited, and then she had to go and cut it in that boyish style." Michiru shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wondering if her visit to Haruka's parents was a large mistake. She was beginning to see Haruka's aversion to her mother, and her frank opinion of her daughter startled her. "Kaioh-san," the blond woman said brightly, changing the subject, perhaps sensing the girl's feelings, "do you have any sort of interests? I'd be delighted in hearing what you do. It would give me something to talk to Haruka about the next time I see her, whenever that may be." "Several things. I enjoy playing the violin, painting, and swimming," Michiru murmured evasively, distinctly uncomfortable about drawing attention to herself. She came to the realization that she did not want this woman to know very much about her, out of some protective instinct that came over her, without any identifiable source. "That sounds lovely." The older woman seemed quite impressed- her opinion of Michiru had shot up considerably, and she commented cynically, "Strange. I would never believe that my daughter would make friends with a girl like you." "Really. Why not?" The sea green haired girl kept her tone light, as if not realizing the insult, which was not targeted to her, but to Haruka. "She's very popular at school, everyone likes her." The woman smiled, though her eyes did not. They were cold, narrowed. "Haruka has never wanted to be a pretty, well mannered young lady," she said shortly, coolly. "God knows I tried to make her into one." Her eyes focused on Michiru, rather intently, and she began speaking angrily, not seeming to realize that she was saying things she most likely shouldn't in front of a stranger. "Like you. I wanted her to be like _you_- polite, beautiful, talented, intelligent, and elegant, a lady. But she didn't... She never wanted to listen to me, always had to go play or fight with the boys, go off to the track and fool around with all those filthy mechanics. Every single dress I bought for her, she ruined. It didn't matter how much I paid for it, no matter how long I had saved up for it, when she returned home, it was always soiled and dirty... And she was always so stubborn, ignoring me, _me_, even though _I'm_ her mother, shouldn't I know what's best for my child? She's always trying to hurt me, and all I've ever done is tried to make her the best!" Michiru stared at her in total shock, unable to understand the sudden resentment, the vivid anger and hurt in her voice. She hadn't realized the extent to which daughter and mother were alienated. She couldn't ever imagine not having her mother with her, supporting her, loving her... And Haruka had had to bear her mother's controlling her entire life. How could she have lasted for so long? How could she have looked at her without feeling any resentment, no, how could she have _lived_ with her, lived with her everyday of her life for fifteen years? But... She felt sorry for Haruka's mother. This tired woman, who was so childish herself, who could not look past her own imperfections, who tried to correct her life by forcing her daughter to become who she wanted. Harsh, hard to please, cold... And who honestly believed that Haruka hated her and wanted to ruin her life. What do I say... What _can_ I say? Nothing. I can't say anything... I want to cry but can't, there's nothing to cry about, yet so much, two lives that could have done so much for each other but instead... Her thoughts faltered. Instead... It's over, done, the past... But you can help her future, you can love her... You can love her... She admitted it in that moment, the very emotion that she had kept hidden away from herself, covered over, lied about- she loved Haruka. Watching her, studying her, learning about her, following her... She had only done all those things so she could fulfill her mission, the mission her _destiny_ had set for her, not so she could fall in love... Love wasn't part of anything. Had she forgotten so much since her grandmother had died? When had her faith in her destiny deserted her? Ridiculous thoughts, thoughts that meant nothing, nothing. If Haruka was her partner, fine, then so be it, and if she wasn't, she had to deal with it. Simple. Find your partner, find the Talismans, complete your mission. Love never played a single role... Haruka's mother had a blank, horrified look, covering her mouth with her hands, realizing what she had revealed to this completely unknown person. Michiru flushed, looking down at her hands, unsure of what to do, but she was saved, luckily, by the appearance of Haruka's father. "Tenoh-san," Michiru said, her voice obviously relieved to everyone in the room, standing up. She held out her hand as he walked towards her, and he shook it gingerly. "I'm Kaioh Michiru, a friend of your daughter's." "Ruka-chan?" He asked, surprised. He had Haruka's eyes, the same color, the same look, the same openness to them... "How is she?" "She's fine, Tenoh-san," the girl reassured him, smiling at him. Unlike his wife, he genuinely seemed to care about his daughter. "She's adjusting well in the school, and I was telling your wife, she's very popular with the students and has an undefeated record from the track team." "Kaioh-san is doing a report about Haruka's childhood and family." The blond woman had regained her speech, and glancing at Michiru, had understood it better to ignore what had happened. "She came over here to meet us; I agreed. Would you mind talking to her about Haruka? I'm rather tired, I need to nap. It was nice meeting you, Kaioh-san, you're such a lovely girl." "Of course, dear." He kissed her cheek, and she smiled, standing up and leaving the room. He turned his green gaze back to the girl in the room. He grinned as he strolled over to the couch, sitting down, and picking up the album on the table in front of them, something Michiru had noticed curiously. "I wouldn't bore you if I told stories about my girl, would I?" His voice was calm, but there was an underlying plea to it, a slight wistfulness. "It's not everyday I get to talk about Ruka-chan... I mean, it would benefit your report, of course." "No, I wouldn't be bored at all," Michiru murmured softly, kindly, understanding perfectly well that Haruka's mother would not be very willing to talk about her daughter with him. "I'd love to hear them. Please, go ahead." He studied her, then a bright smile crossed his face, and he eagerly opened the album, pointing to the pictures as he talked about the subject that he loved best- his daughter. ***** She set down the tea cup gingerly, finding it suddenly distasteful. It wouldn't go down her throat, and she gave up trying to force it down. The woman across from her did likewise before clasping her hands together in front of her on the table. She had very beautiful hands, Michiru thought to herself for no particular reason. It was simply a random thought in a strangely, cruely random world in which random things happened for random, unexplainable reasons. "I'm very sorry for your loss," the woman said quietly. She had introduced herself as Meioh Setsuna, a friend of her family's. It was rather odd how Michiru had never met her before, nor had heard her name spoken by any of her family, but she assumed it was possible- her family had too many connections to even begin counting. "Your grandmother was a very unique and wonderful lady." "Thank you," Michiru answered, hearing the genuinity in the other's voice, reassuring her. "You knew her?" "Yes, I know all about her life and what she did," Setsuna acknowledged, though the other noted that she never said, 'Yes, I knew _her_.' "She was very dedicated to your family, to you, and she had a strong sense of her destiny." "I see we weren't the only ones to subscribe to such thoughts," the girl murmured, somewhat dryly. She sighed, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Some good it will do me. She was the only one who understood me, and now she's gone..." "Perhaps it is because you just haven't found the right person," the woman offered smoothly, studying the tea cup with mild interest, and Michiru watched her, having heard the deliberate message in her voice but not knowing exactly what it meant. "What do you mean?" she prodded, waiting for an explanation to such a cryptic statement. Setsuna didn't answer her for a few minutes, her gaze outside. "Let's go for a walk," she said suddenly. "The sky has cleared somewhat, and the air will do you some good." "All right." Outside, Setsuna's words bore truth. The sky was a lighter gray, the rain having given way to a light drizzle, and the drizzle to a moist cool in the air. The streets were rather empty, with a few people hurrying on their ways, to their homes and loved ones, no doubt- it was growing late in the afternoon and would be evening soon. They walked along the side of the street ----- "Can you feel it?" Pluto asked softly. She shook her head violently, though she could, she could feel the strange power surge inside of her. With all her strength, she forced it back down, it scared her, she refused it. "No... No! I can't!" "This is your destiny, Michiru. You know that as well as I," the dark haired woman said calmly. "Your fate, your reason for being. To fulfill what the Fates have planned for you." "I don't want this!" Michiru cried out angrily, her control breaking, her emotions flooding out. "Why can't you understand that? I don't _want_ to be her!" She regarded her with sad eyes. "You have no choice, Michiru. You understand the implications of destiny- it is too engrained inside of you to ignore. You know that what I'm saying is the truth. Now accept it." "I-" "You have no choice," she repeated tersely, sharply. Tears slipped down her face, slowly, staring at the senshi, standing stiffly, watching her, a sympathetic look, but dominated by an unbending attitude. She would not give up. She lifted her hand up, very cautiously, until a sea-green light encompassed it, and the stick appeared. Beautiful, she thought. Beauty cloaked its harsh responsibilities and meanings. She didn't want them, didn't need them. Inside, she felt the icy coldness of dread and fear, as her hand tightened around the handle, and she felt her mouth say the words, her lips moving without her consent, and in back of her mind, she heard her own voice, wavering... "Neptune Planet Power, Make-Up!" Wrapped in warmth, surrounded in water, sensations swept over her, alien yet vaguely familiar emotions living once again... The pain disappated, to some extent, and when her eyes opened she knew the change, immediately, instinctively... The sense of _rightness_ about her, the recognition... And yet, when she saw herself in the mirror, the unmistakenable uniform- the short skirt, the ribboned heels, the gloves, the bows, and the tiara- she hated the reflection that she saw- hated it for being her destiny, hated it for destroying her dreams, hated it because it was exactly what it appeared to be. It was her. She dropped to her knees and cried. ---- It seemed like forever, yet it had only been two weeks. Two weeks in March, and her entire life had been changed. Had she really turned fifteen only at its beginning? With new hopes, high expectations, she recollected, somewhat cynically, a little wiser, her naive dreams and goals... Droplets fell into the water below her. One or two at first, and only one or two. Control, she had learned how to mask her emotions so well, even to herself. Soon she had regained her self-control, perfectly calm. It was her destiny. That was all. She had accepted it. Setsuna... No, Pluto, was gone. Gone where? Who knew? All she could understand was that she was alone... Alone. She had, for the upcoming school year, convinced her parents to continue to send her to Mugen Gakuen, where she would live in a considerably expensive apartment Delta district, though they were moving back into the country- away from Tokyo. It had been hard to accept, but here she was, living by herself... Alone. But nevermind that. Her mission was to find the Talismans, to stop the Silence from coming into being. That and her partner. 'Partner?' 'The girl who is to work with you on this mission. You will know her when you see her. There will be an undeniable attraction, immediately, a bond, a feeling of togetherness. You must find her. Find out everything you can about her.."' ***** A cold wind blew about her as she walked down the streets, hands in her jacket pockets, the scene replaying in her mind yet again. It killed her, yet even then, there was something fascinating about pain... 'Stay out of my life, Kaioh Michiru.' 'Stay out of my life...' 'Stay out...' She wondered at the pain in her chest, wondered why she wouldn't cry. It had been a long time since she had cried- or at least, it seemed like a long time. Time was her enemy, so it appeared. Everything worked against her, so little time for anything, so little time for herself, for what she wanted. She laughed. What she wanted mattered little. Hadn't she already established that? It was the will of destiny. Once, long ago, someone had told her that it was her destiny to be great- she had thought at the time that it had meant she was to be happy. Little did she know. Happy. She was far from it. She arrived at the park, not realizing how far she had come. She stopped, sitting down on one of the benches to organize her thoughts. Michiru shut her eyes tightly closed. One name kept echoing throughout her mind. Arms around her... No, stop it. Warmth around her, against her... Stop it! Gentle lips... "No!" She dropped her face into her hands. "No..." Haruka didn't want her, Haruka hated her, Haruka wanted nothing to do with her. Her dreams about her, her strong feelings towards her, everything, whenever she spent her waking moments thinking of her- they were for nothing. She hugged herself, feeling empty. She tried not to think of Haruka but found it nearly impossible. ---- Michiru paused inside of the elevator, biting her lip. Haruka hadn't been in school for several days. Was it really wise to confront her now? What if she only made things worse between them? "I thought you decided you'd do it," she murmured to herself, resting her head against the wall, her thoughts uncharacteristically pessimistic. "It's either do it now and screw up, or do it later and screw up. Your choice." She sighed, stepping out into the hall as she made her way to Haruka's apartment. She was about to ring the bell when she noticed a note on the door that said to come in. Somewhat confused, for she was certain that Haruka wasn't expecting her, she decided to follow the advice. At least it meant that Haruka would be ready to greet someone, if not her. Opening the door, Michiru reminded herself to take off her shoes as she entered. It was a nice place, she thought, as she looked around. Rather empty, but Haruka lived alone, so she really didn't need any formal pieces of furniture, did she? She walked slowly into the kitchen, deciding that she was too nervous to think straight, and that she needed some tea. Hopefully Haruka wouldn't mind. "Will you make me a cup as well?" Someone, presumably Haruka, called from someplace further inside. Apparently she wouldn't. Obediently, Michiru made enough for two, then when it was ready after several minutes, poured the tea into small cups. She set Haruka's cup on the counter, then wandered into the living room and sat down in a chair. She thankfully sipped the hot tea, it soothed her nerves quite well. She heard someone walking in the back areas. "I'm glad to see you Yama-." Haruka's voice cut off abruptly, as Michiru turned around to look at her. Handsome, as usual, obviously out from a shower, her hair still damp. Her clothes were a cross between formal and casual, as if deliberately choosing her outfit to impress someone. Michiru realized that she was holding her breath and let it out slowly. The blond visibly swallowed, then forced herself to say politely, "Michiru." "Excuse me." She tried not to blush, feeling the embarrassment at having intruded on the other. "The note on the door said to come in," she explained, reminding Haruka gently, who seemed rather shocked at finding her there, and with good reason, she supposed. She set her cup down on a table next to the chair, finding the drink suddenly distasteful. Brushing away her hair from her eyes, she watched the blond slowly finished walking into the room, her fingers tight around her cup, indicating her emotions. She doesn't want to see me... She tried not to let it hurt her, Haruka had been avoiding her for a long time, since they had first met, and she had continued persisting then, why should she stop now? "No, that's fine," Haruka said casually, though Michiru sensed it was far from fine. "So what brings you here?" She sat herself on the couch that was directly opposite from the other girl. The sea green haired girl blushed again. The fact that one, I love you, and two, you're my partner from my past? That would work wonderfully; Haruka would think that she was crazy. She settled with the alternative excuse she had come up with, which was true to begin with anyway. "You haven't been to school for the past week, Haruka. I was worried that you might be ill. You hadn't called anyone to let them know of your condition. I inquired the registrar as to what your address was" -she didn't add that she had known where her apartment was ever since she had first arrived at school- "and decided to stop by and see if there was anything I could offer you." She nearly blushed again at her own words. Wonderful, Michiru; that last sentence was a touch of pure genius on your part. "Eh, I'm fine as you can see," Haruka said slowly, a quick look of surprise crossing over her face before vanishing. She shrugged. "I just haven't felt like going, that's all." Michiru smiled despite herself at the defensive tone in her voice. She reached for her tea cup, glancing at it to collect herself before staring directly at Haruka, studying her. She wasn't surprised at what she saw there. Haruka's emotions were always so vivid to her, she was such an outright girl. She played the girl's bluff for what it was. "You're lying to me, Tenoh Haruka." Haruka glared at her, trying to appear tough. "So?" Michiru sighed softly, tired of her acts. "Don't you think it's about time we start being honest with each other?" she pointed out quietly. She was so stubborn. Couldn't she see that Michiru knew her too well to continue skirting around what she wanted to say? "I have nothing to be honest with you about," the blond snapped, staring down into her tea, as if it held a good deal of interest to her. "I made my feelings clear the other night." She once again placed her cup, nearly empty, onto the coffee table as she recalled how Haruka had ordered her to stay out of her life. She always thinks she needs to push me away. Why? To protect herself? Haruka just didn't understand. Maybe she only needed some convincing... Michiru nodded her head, rising from her position. She could see Haruka sigh, relieved. She smiled as she sat herself down next to the girl on the couch. Haruka's face briefly mirrored shock before quickly reverting to its previous glare. "You're right," Michiru said softly, letting her voice sweetly seduce the other girl. "For now, we have nothing else to discuss." She reached out with her hand, seeing Haruka shudder as her fingers ran along her jawline, gently, wanting to remember every minute detail of her face. She felt her tremble slightly beneath her tips, heard her sharp intake of breath. Michiru realized that her own heart was pounding quickly, and she could barely think clearly, but she really didn't want to, not at all, why think when she could let her instincts take over, let them tell her what to do... She had thought about this for a long time, the memories had been haunting her... She leaned forward, so that their faces were almost touching, the other's breath soft against her skin, and she could sense Haruka's body react as her hand softly covered her cheek. The other still didn't move, just staring at her, and she gazed into her green eyes. She's scared, she realized with a start, tilting her head, puzzled. She's always afraid of what others will do to her... That's why she distances herself from me, because I'll be like them... But I'm not, I won't. She smiled, laughing softly at Haruka. "'Distant'. You don't need to live up to your name," she whispered teasingly, her voice low. "Why are you afraid? Isn't this what you wanted?" Haruka was barely breathing, her entire body tense, her eyes pained, her voice on the verge of breaking as she mangaged to grit out, "This is just another damn dream." "A dream?" She murmured, caressing Haruka's face. "Then do you want to wake up?" She leaned towards to kiss her. "No!" Haruka tore herself from her spot and ran out of the room. Her bedroom door slammed shut loudly a few seconds later. Michiru immediately stood, following her to the door. She was about to knock, her hand in the air, but then heard something that made her stop short. Haruka was crying. It tore her heart, her sobs of pain, anger, and frustration. She had cried like that once, hadn't she? Once, when her life had gone crashing down on her. Once, when her life had lost all meaning. Once, when she lost someone who meant more to her than anything else in the world... She couldn't do anything to stop it... She clenched her fist tightly. No. She wouldn't lose Haruka- she loved her more than she cared for herself. She wouldn't let it happen. She wouldn't lose her. She opened the door silently. Haruka was in a small ball on the bed, crying violently. Michiru quietly closed the door, sitting down on the bed next to her. She took the girl into her arms, who went willingly, too tired to fight her, embracing her. The blond pulled away, but fell crying against her lap, pleading with her, "Why won't you leave me alone? All I want is to be alone." Michiru didn't say a word, running her fingers through the blond hair, wishing her pain to disappear, but knowing she had to go through this. Haruka needed it, when was the last time she had really cried, she couldn't keep all her emotions locked inside of her forever... It's all right, Haruka... Cry all you need, I'm here. I won't leave you. It was a long time before Haruka's tears subsided. Michiru continued stroking her hair, waiting patiently for as long as it would take. It was in a way comforting to simply be there, with her. "Michiru," Haruka finally whispered when she could, sounding tired. "Hmm, Haruka?" "Leave me alone," she said, her voice weak. "I'm no good. If I can't meet my own expectations, how can I meet yours? I-" She didn't finish her sentence. The other waited, but the blond failed to continue speaking, her face buried in her skirt once more. Michiru leaned down, whispering gently in her ear, "Haruka?" Haruka pulled away from her, to the safety of the wall, staring at her miserably. She swallowed before attempting to 'reason' with her. "Michiru... I- I can't love you. It's not right, it's-" Michiru smiled, silencing her words with a finger on her lips. She shook her head. "And since when has Tenoh Haruka cared about what others allowed her?" she demanded softly. "You race, is that not open to only men? You wear the male's uniform while defiantly telling the rest of the school to 'go to hell'." She laughed, remembering when Haruka had yelled that when the school counsler had tried talking to her about her 'problems.' Apparently Haruka remembered as well, for she gave a half hearted smile in response. "Answer me this, Tenoh Haruka. Why are you crying?" The blond turned her attention away from her, staring out the window, seeming to find it easier to stare at the coldness of the city rather than the warmth of the girl next to her. "I want to be alone, and you won't allow me that." "You're lying again," she murmured scoldingly at her childish response. "I am not-" she protested. Michiru lifted her hand up to stop her from talking, and she fell silent. "Haruka," she said kindly, smiling warmly at her, though her voice was mildly rebuking. "You've been alone for the last several days. Have you enjoyed it? Was it bliss for you?" She continued her own thoughts. "I think the problem is that you have spent too much of your life alone." Her fingers strayed to Haruka's hair, softly running through its thickness as she remembered her conversation with Haruka's mother, listening to the stories her father gave. "All those years of never being understood by anyone. Standing alone... because no one will support what they can't understand." Haruka's look was dubious, she would have snorted had she had the strength. "What do you know of my past?" "I know more about you than you do," she said slowly, painfully honest. "I have been watching you, learning about you. I want to be the one that supports you, Haruka." She took it the wrong way. With a bit of that damn pride in her voice: "I don't need your sympathy." She smiled slowly. Sympathy? Hardly. "Is that what you think it is? You are just as stubborn as I have been told. Sympathy doesn't play into it." The green haired girl took Haruka gently into her arms again, pulling her against herself. All the while, Haruka stared at her face, and Michiru could see her defenses breaking inside of her, crumbling. "Why won't you leave me alone?" A soft whimper, and she was suddenly so vulnerable. A tiny smile tugged at her lips as she cupped Haruka's chin in her hand, staring directly at her. She leaned towards her. Why? Because I care about you... Because I need you... Because I won't, can't, let you go... "Because I love you, Ruka-chan." She softly kissed her lips, waiting to see if Haruka would run away again, but the other made no move to do so. Michiru smiled, letting go of the girl's chin gently and moving her hand behind the other's head, her eyes remaining focused on Haruka's. This was what love was like. The feeling of wonder and beauty, spreading throughout her, running through her veins, the gentle feeling Haruka created for her. Tenderness, understanding, caring, desire, passion, love. All in a single action, the emotions swept over her... And in that kiss, when she felt Haruka's arms folding around her, it felt so right, she knew that she would be with her for always. She bit Haruka's lips gently, and Haruka released her. The blond shut her eyes for a moment, breathing rapidly. Michiru watched what she would do. She was only briefly startled when Haruka opened them again and pulled her against herself, but she let her body fall against Haruka's chest. Haruka smiled, and it was strangely beautiful, estatic, because she had never seen her smile like that before, but she thought it wonderful all the same. Haruka bent her head, pausing a second, as if unsure, then kissing her again, and she thought that if there was a heaven, being with Haruka was it. Haruka let go of lips, and she felt the girl relax fully, the tension gone from her. Michiru laid her head against her shoulder, closing her eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the warmth she provided. She realized that she too was a great deal more relaxed- a strange mental burden had been lifted from her. She was safe, she was content- and she was not alone. "Michiru?" Haruka whispered finally. "Hmm, Haruka?" She murmured, looking up, her voice like silk. "Don't leave me alone." Finality in her tone, and something else in it. It would have seemed foreign to her had she not understood instinctively what it was. Love. The phone in the living room rang, but Haruka didn't move, only stared into Michiru's eyes, who smiled teasingly at her. Michiru reached up, running her hand along Haruka's face once more, in a repeat performance, only this time the audience did not walk out on her. "You have reached the phone of Tenoh Haruka. I am gone at the moment. Please leave a message at the tone." Michiru smiled, ignoring the message the caller left, and murmured to her host, "Gone at the moment?" Haruka shrugged, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly while whispering against her ear, "Occupied for a while," and Michiru's low laugh was abruptly cut short by another engaging task. ***** "Grandma, I'm going to marry the wind!" The child cried, running across the warm sand as she played with the salty sea air, which obediently served her whims and desires. The older woman smiled benignly at her gleeful announcement, and the girl giggled as she spotted a white gull, sneaking up upon it, and pouncing upon it. The gull gave a shriek before flying away, just as she hit the sand. Instead of crying, she gazed up into the sky, her eyes focused on the gull, growing smaller and smaller in the distance. With a strange yet familiar maturity, still childlike but with an older reflection, she thought to herself, See? The wind likes the birds... The wind likes the sea... And it'll like me one day too, and when it does, then I'll be happy... And we can be together. "Michiru-chan!" her grandmother called, waving at her. She turned, smiling, and began heading back towards her. And with an earnest, fateful promise to no one, so her destiny was set from that day forth. Set, confronted, and fulfilled, she thought now, and in her arms she held the wind, life and soul now one, destinies entwined. ----------- I opted to use 'Tenoh' instead of what Beans used in "Distant." [She used 'Ten'ou.] I personally prefer to use 'Tenoh,' it looks better to me, and it's more familiar. Author's preference, sort of live with it, because no, I'm not going to change it. Just be glad that I didn't go for using my preference of 'Erza' over 'Elza.' I was going to do that, but I just ended up thinking that her spelling wasn't anything worth getting creative over and left it with the 'l.'