Comments and/or flames should be addressed to: Greenbeans Ophelia Joan McDougall --------------------------------------------------------------------- Begging Favours By Greenbeans, JoanM, and Ophelia It was half-past eternity, or some similar time when Sailor Pluto realized she had visitors. She turned around, hastily hiding the unclothed doll of Tuxedo Mask behind her back, committing to memory resolutions to look up that young woman with the FASCINATING idea of rendering the doll more... detailed. As she recalled, the original plan had involved a light switch as a template.... "Um... hi," waved one of the two figures silhouetted in the Gate. "Are you going to ask her, Beans, or should I?" whispered the shorter one, pulling on her companion's sleeve. "You ask, Ophelia," Greenbeans whispered back. "Ack! No fair! What if she tries to beat us with her Big Ass Key?!" Greenbeans heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Who are the authors in this fanfic?" "We are." "And who can alter the course of the plot if things go awry?" "Uh... we can." "Good, now are you going to ask?" "You do it!" Ophelia said hastily. Beans sweatdropped. "And what is the question?" Pluto said calmly, having watched the previous goings-on with her usual air of inscrutability. (Albeit with her hands behind her back, hiding the unclothed doll.) "And how did you manage to get here?" "Our phenomenal powers as the authors of the story!" Ophelia piped up. "And... we wanted to know if you'd show us our future," Beans said hurriedly, all in a rush. "Just a little peek?" "Please??" "We just want a peek... just enough to find out what's going on.... we're not going to try to go anywhere and change the past...." Ophelia wheedled. "Nope nope.. we'd be innocent.. just curious.. y'know.." Beans added, doing her best to look wide-eyed and innocent. "Yup, we just want to see if they... really have flying cars in the future, that's it!" Ophelia improvised in a flash of ingenuity. "Yeah.. that's the ticket!" her co-conspirator chimed in. "And if they ever made any more SM. Like an OAV series or something!" Ophelia continued ad-libbing. "Yeah.. we need a future to look forward to!" "Yup-yup. Just a peek..." Ophelia added her own best wide-eyed pleading look to the argument. "Pleeeese, Setsuna-sama?" "We'll write a lemon fic with you and Endymion in it if you let us!" Greenbeans exclaimed, struck by inspiration, but hopefully not hard enough to leave bruises. "Oh, yes, that's it! Beans says she'll write all the actual sex scenes!" Ophelia quickly ducked, having made this claim. "NANI??" Beans yelped, managed the difficult feat of turning red, sweatdropping profusely, and face-faulting all at once, and quickly pulled Ophelia aside for a whispered conversation. "Uuuuhhhhh um... er... I think we'll have Joan do it for us.. she has experience..." Beans eventually determined. "Yes, that's it, my big sis will write them for us, and we'll do the rest!" Ophelia nodded in agreement vigorously. "Yep yep! Trust us!" "Yup... we'll make it oh-so -romantic, and.. and... everyone will live happily ever after!" "Now to just retrieve our co-author," Beans said, barely managing to stifle the smirk that threatened to turn into an evil grin. She reached back through the gate, and pulled one very surprised JoanM through. "What... hey... Pluto!.... Beans?... Ophelia, is this your fault?" Ophelia ducked behind Beans, avoiding a stern older-sister glare. "We're trying to talk Setsuna into letting us look at the future. We promised her to write a lemon with her and Endymion. You've been volunteered to write the actual sex scenes," she admitted in a small voice. "What? Huh? Who, me?" "We figure you're qualified and all," Ophelia retorted. "If I have to write the scenes, then I want a look at the future, too." Joan declared firmly, ignoring Ophelia's last statement. "I'll have to see the story first," Pluto said firmly, ushering the trio over to a desk, a computer, and several chairs. "Who's starting?" "I am," said Beans, and sat herself down in front of the keyboard. "Now how to begin?" "The beginning," Ophelia supplied helpfully. "Thanks," she intoned dryly. "You two aren't even going to make it to the actual sex scenes at this pace," Joan pointed out. "I have the time to wait," Setsuna pulled up a chair before sitting down. "Urk.." Beans licked her dry lips before setting her hands to the keyboard. ----- It was a dark and stormy night... Ophelia: That is sooo cliché. Beans: Hush, I'm desperate. Sailor Pluto ran her delicate finger down the glass of the window she was watching the storm through. The chaos on the outside could not match the chaos that was within her heart. "Endymion..." Setsuna: You make me sound desperate. Beans: Urk! Gomen! Let me try again. It was a dark and story night. Sailor Pluto paced the room back and forth. "He said he would meet me here 5 minutes ago," she glared about the small room. The centerpiece of the room was a queen sized bed. Ophelia: Beanssssss! er.. a KING sized bed. Which would have been perfect for the King if he would have shown up on time. Setsuna: You mean he stood me up? Beans: nonononono Setsuna: It sounds to me like he stood me up. Beans: Gomen! I don't write well under pressure. ----- "You're not getting us anywhere," Joan said, shaking her head. "Let me get the ball rolling. Here, Ophelia. You take the 'dark and stormy night' cliché', I'm sure you can work it into KNUWY somehow. I like the 'story night' one though." ----- It was a dark and story night, but in Crystal Tokyo's Palace the lights were bright and music was playing. Her Royal Highness Small Lady had returned to the past. And since it was their past, they knew how long she would be gone. Eventually the evening wound down and people began to leave. Finally the only four remaining were Rei, Setsuna and the king and queen. With a bow and a curtsy to each other they finished their last dance. Taking Rei's hand, Serenity left the room. (And I refer you to Chris Davies writing, 'cause I ain't writing it.) Endymion took Setsuna's hand and..... ----- "Hey, why am *I* doing this? I thought you two were going to write the story and I was the doing the scenes you wouldn't write," Joan exclaimed. "Well, erm, that would be the kind of scene that's coming up next," Ophelia said delicately. "And writing Usagi-Rei scenes was never part of the bargain," Joan griped. "If I'd have known we were using Chris Davies continuity... if we are, which one are we using, anyhow?" "Just the Usagi-Rei bit," Ophelia said delicately. (Somewhere off-screen, SD Jaclyn no Hentai, she of the light switch related plans, was duct taped to a chair to prevent any of the inevitable innuendoes involving the use of the ambiguous word "bit".) "I'm still not writing any of those scenes!" Joan sputtered. "We can just... do a graceful fade out, ya know?" Beans said hurriedly, as visions of SD-Joan chasing SD-Beans and Ophelia with SD-baseball bat in hand danced in her head. "I'll do it," Ophelia said in resignation. "Um... NO, JACLYN NO HENTAI, NOT THAT *IT*!" she yelped, as the SD in question had escaped from her duct tape, and was waving a highly suggestive sign. "I'll write the graceful fade-out, that's what I meant!! But first, I want a couch." "What?" Setsuna said blankly. "Yes, we definitely need a couch," Beans agreed, looking nervously over her shoulder. "I want a guarantee of equal opportunity hiding space behind the couch," Joan said stubbornly. "Done, done!" Ophelia and Beans chorused. Ophelia sat down in front of the keyboard, as a couch mysteriously wandered into the background. ----- Hand in hand, Rei and Serenity left the room, and gracefully faded out of the scene to do whatever it is they may be doing (No, JACLYN NO HENTAI, I did not SAY each other!!) For all we know, they may have been... playing scrabble, yeah that's it! ----- "Over to you guys," Ophelia said, getting up again. "That's it?" "Yup," she said grimly, chasing after SD-Jaclyn with a roll of duct tape. "Huh, that was.. brief," Beans drawled while reseating herself at the keyboard. "Setsuna, could I have a soda?" "Oh, certainly! How rude of me not to offer sooner," the guardian of time left to quickly return with a service. On it was several cups, a tea pot, and a soda in tall glass with several perfectly formed ice cubes in it. This, she handed to Beans. "Thanks," the younger woman grinned. She took a sip of the carbonated drink, then gagged. "What is this?!?" "Diet Coke. Jetwolf insisted that it was the only thing she would drink when she visited me on the weekends." "I see," Ophelia sweatdropped, briefly wondering why Jetwolf was visiting Setsuna, and if it had anything to do with gaining email-answering time, Diet Coke, or plushy comparison-shopping. "Ick, fake sugar." Meanwhile, Beans was typing away at the keyboard. Joan came up behind her and placed her hands on her shoulders as she read the monitor. "Not bad." ----- Setsuna relaxed against the firm form that was Endymion. It was a dream long hoped for.. a love long since restricted.. a passion that was sustained with a fire that burned in her very soul.. a desire tha- Ophelia: Could you possibly get any more corny? Setsuna: Hush! This getting good... She pressed herself against his hard body when.. Joan: Haruka and Michiru burst into the room. Minna: ----- "Beans! How could you ruin a dramatic scene like that?" Ophelia cried out. Joan wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. "Whew.. I won't have to write adult scenes just yet." "No..," Setsuna sobbed softly at the missed opportunity. Ophelia pushed Beans' chair away from the keyboard. "Can we not let you near a keyboard at all without Haruka showing up?" Beans sweatdropped, turning a rather interesting shade of fuchsia. "If any lake gods show up, I'm out of here!" Joan said firmly. "Let me handle this!" Ophelia settled down in front of the computer. "But no glaives!" chorused Joan and Beans. "All right, all right," Ophelia said irritably. "At least.... not yet!" she grinned evilly. She looked very carefully from side to side, and began to laugh maniacally very quietly under her breath. Really more of a maniacal giggle, actually. This time, even Setsuna sweatdropped. ----- "What are you doing here?" Setsuna said sternly, from her beloved's arms. "Oh, nothing, nothing at all," Haruka sweatdropped. "Wrong room, that's all." (The authors breathed a sigh of relief.) "She flusters so easily," Michiru said wryly. "It can be quite... a bit of fun, at times." "Um, well, yeah..." Haruka clutched the back of her neck. "Um? That's not what you were saying last night, hmm?" Michiru raised one aquamarine eyebrow suggestively. "I'm sure Setsuna-san doesn't need to hear about that," Haruka said hastily. "No, I was rather BUSY," Setsuna said pointedly. "Isn't anyone even noticing I'm here?" Endymion said plaintively. "It's that lavender suit, it just blends right into the background," Michiru said helpfully. "You know, that shade of pale lavender, it's kind of... well... you know," Haruka said thoughtfully. "Are you sure he's not... you know?" "Oh, I'm quite sure he's heterosexual," Setsuna said coolly. Then she smiled, the sort of smug smile that makes sure everyone knows *just* what you're insinuating, and is so much more effective than saying anything straight out. "Ahhhhh," Michiru and Haruka nodded knowingly. "Why is it that everyone is talking around me?" Endymion repeated aggrievedly. "I LIKE purple. This is my favorite suit. It used to be such a lovely, deep royal purple shade... and then Minako did the laundry." "Ahhh," everyone nodded, also knowingly, but a different sort of knowing, the kind that suggests much to your dismay, you do indeed know, and wish you didn't. "ANYhow," Setsuna said, repeating her earlier pointed look, "Don't you two have somewhere else you could be? Right now?" "Oh, I definitely could think of something more interesting," Haruka nodded. "What about you?" "Something or someONE?" Michiru said coyly. "Come on, love." She led her out of the room, quite literally, pulling a very willing Haruka by her tie. "Much better," Setsuna said, dusting off her hands. "I can say that I definitely agree," Endymion nodded. "Now about that suit, we're just going to have to get rid of it." Setsuna began undoing buttons.... ----- "Over to you, Joan," Ophelia said hastily. "All right, all right, just as long as I don't have to write Haruka and Michiru in," she sweatdropped. "Same deal as for Rei and Usagi, I ain't gonna write it!" Just then, Haruka and Michiru burst into the room. "That's what I just typed a few paragraphs back," Beans said irritably. "Um... um... um..." Ophelia tugged on her sleeve, pointing behind her. "No, now they're IN THE ROOM! With US!" Beans and Ophelia quickly dived behind the couch. "Guys? Guys?" Joan said plaintively. "No-one here at all," came a muffled voice from behind the couch. "Well, well, if it isn't a certain notorious pair of fanfic authors," Haruka grinned, leaning over the back of the couch. "Would now be a good time to mention that the last time we saw you two, you were asleep together?" "What??" Jetwolf said, appearing suddenly, in time to give an outraged exclamation along with Joan. Ophelia shrank back under the severe older-sisterly glare from Joan, and the plain old glare with a threat of angst retribution from Jetwolf. "NOT LIKE THAT!" she yelled, waving a Polaroid. All assembled characters gathered around. "Aw, aren't they cute," giggled Michiru, pointing to the picture of two fanfic authors curled up, fast asleep behind the aforementioned couch. "Look, Beans looks like she's sucking her thumb!" "Am not," Beans muttered darkly. "Oh, and look at Ophelia and her plushie Totoro," Jetwolf gloated. "She's so very.. cute!" "You do know that if it were anyone else but you or a select group of a very few other people using the c-word about me that I'd have to kill you," muttered Ophelia. "I know," gloated Jetwolf. "So does everyone else know you sleep with a stuffed Totoro?" "If you breathe a word about blankies," Ophelia said, scowling. "Or I could just tell them about... " she leaned over and began to whisper. Jetwolf turned a rather becoming shade of pink. "Come on, hon, you wouldn't..." the Wolf O' Jet wheedled. "Maaaybe," Ophelia smirked. "I'll make it up to you later!" "Well... all right, then." On reflex, she handed over a can of Diet Coke, because as we all know, a Caffeinated Jetwolf is a Happy Jetwolf. With that, Jetwolf left as suddenly as she had arrived. "About those OTHER fanfics," Haruka said, still leaning threateningly over the back of the couch (albeit with Michiru hanging onto the tail of her shirt to keep her from overbalancing). "Which other fanfics?" Beans and Ophelia chorused innocently. "The ones about US," Michiru said, an edge creeping into her voice. "Oh, coming along very well," they chorused again, sounding more than a wee bit panicked. "Can we get back to MY story, please?" Setsuna said ominously, hefting her Big-Ass Key. Beans eyeballed the BAK Setsuna was wielding and then Haruka, who was towering over her. She laughed hesitantly while scooting past Ophelia, leaving the safety of the couch. Haruka glared at Beans as she wormed past Joan to sit before the keyboard. Five pairs of eyes drilled into the back of her head as she got comfortable. "I hate pressure. "Let's see.. where were we?" She muttered softly as she read the monitor. "Ah yes, Setsuna decided that lavender wasn't a good color on Endymion.." ----- One button, then two. Endymion's shirt slid off his muscular chest. His flesh was taunt as the muscles rippled under it. Michiru: I didn't realize our King was so well built. Setsuna: Butt out, violin girl, he's mine! Beans: [to Joan] He's not, but I'm allowed some literary license. Setsuna: I heard that! "I've always admired you," the King breathed into Setsuna's ear. The hair on the back of her neck prickled as his breath tickled and his words caressed her. "You have such long dark hair." "Thank you," Setsuna cuddled him. "I've always wanted long hair. Serenity has long hair, but she won't let me do more than brush it out at night..." ----- A resounding *THWAP* echoed in the room as a SD-Beans found herself kissing the back wall. She then peeled off and fell to the floor with a *thud*. "What's wrong Setsuna? Can't stand to have her picking some fun at your dream man?" Haruka taunted. "You certainly laugh when she picks on me." Ophelia had scrambled to Beans to see if she was alright. So far, they had survived sweatdrop and facefaults, but hitting a wall was a tad more serious. Beans eyes were swirling. "Icccee Crreeaaammm.." "Jeez," Ophelia picked her up by the collar and slapped her face to bring her to her senses. "You've been watching 'Ah! My Goddess' again, haven't you?" "Chocollllllatttte icccccce creaaaaammmm..." "Chocolate??" "What about chocolate?" Ophelia frowned. "I didn't say anything, did you say anything?" Beans and Joan turned to look at each other and shrugged. "Well, if you didn't say anything, and she didn't say anything, and I didn't say anything..." Ophelia looked around warily. "HEY! All my chocolate Pocky is GONE!" "Mmmph," said the Gargoyle innocently, perched ominously looming atop the couch. "Christabel. I should have known," Ophelia sighed. She turned back to Beans and Joan. "So who's writing the next part?" "I wrote the last one," Beans pointed out. "And it's just starting to get lemon-y fresh," Ophelia added, looking expectantly in Joan's direction. "Um... " Joan pointed towards the computer. "It's out of my hands now." "ACK! Christabel!" "You're not going anywhere with it," the Gargoyle said smugly. "But... but... but..." Ophelia spluttered, noticing with the utmost horror that Pluto was intent upon the screen. "What are you DOING?" "Hmmm... whipped cream... chocolate sauce... a muzzle..." Pluto said absently, reading along. "ACK! CHRISTABEL!" Ophelia fell over and began to twitch. "Whips and chains," Beans added helpfully "Rope- urk!" Her list of helpful hints was abruptly cut off as she was unceremoniously dragged back behind the couch by Ophelia and Joan. "Shhh," Ophelia hissed, "You want to get hit with that BAK?" "And more importantly," Joan added, "what sort of story have we been left with now? And who's going to continue it? ... What? Why are you both looking at ME?" "It's your turn," stated Ophelia. "I wrote the last part," Beans reminded her. "All right, I'll do it," Joan sighed. Scrambling from behind the couch, she held her breath as she squeezed past Haruka and Michiru who were reading the screen over Setsuna's shoulder. Reaching the computer, she tapped the Gargoyle on the shoulder. Christabel got up and moved, albeit with a smug grin on her stony face. Wondering how she was going to continue the story after this last addition, Joan seated herself in front of the computer. Taking a look at the screen, she suddenly sweatdropped. "Beans, Ophelia," she called. "Come here. You need to see this." "We *need* to *see* it?" questioned Ophelia. "Ack..." stated Beans. "Well I don't know what to do now," stated Joan. "You see, she's FINISHED it!" That brought both Beans and Ophelia scrambling from behind the couch. "She what?" they chorused. "I said, 'She finished it!'," Joan repeated. "Weren't you listening?" Ophelia and Beans scrambled to the monitor where they read the finished work. Ophelia became progressively redder while casting nasty glares at her gargoyle. Beans wasn't doing much better herself. "I will never look at Pringles the same way again," she muttered. "'Once you pop the top, you can't stop'." "I think she's done a fine job," Setsuna said, turning on the printer. "She's written a fic quicker than you three bumbling along could." "But... but... but..." Ophelia sputtered,"Whipped cream does not a happy ending make! I mean, not JUST the whipped cream! Everyone has to live happily ever after!" "Since when?" Joan said warily. "Since right now!" She crossed her arms, and nodded emphatically. "What? Why are you all looking at me like that? I can so write fanfics with 100% happy endings!" "If you say so," Joan sweatdropped. "Let's see..." She sat herself down in front of the keyboard, under Pluto's amused gaze. "Now... we've got Pluto and Endymion occupied with their whipped cream, among other things-" She paused to glare at the Gargoyle, who loomed smugly, saying nothing. "And Serenity and Rei have gone off to... " "Play Scrabble happily ever after," Joan said hastily. "They forgot the Scrabble dictionary and letters," Ophelia frowned. "Oh, well, I'm sure they'll find something to do." She paused again to reinforce the duct tape holding SD-Jaclyn to her chair. "And Chibi-Usa can marry the demonic horsie thing... when it's human, of course," she added hastily. "Haruka and Michiru have each other," Beans chimed in. "What about the rest of the Inner Senshi?" Ophelia frowned. "And Saturn?" "Well, Jupiter and Venus are writing 'The Amorous Adventures of the Sailor Senshi" under assumed names of course," Joan replied. "And Mercury is both their proofreader and technical adviser." "Mercury is the technical adviser?" Ophelia questioned. Joan nodded vigorously. "Uh huh, who else would know all those statisics without looking them up? And it's a very popular series, people are *always* wanting to know when the next chapter will be out." Beans brushed away the sweatdrops that were collecting by her head. "And young Hotaru can dedicate her life to chasing down those icky senshi wannabe Starlights and beheading them with her glaive!" She suggested excitedly. "You really don't like them, do you?" Joan asked dryly. "Good enough for me," Ophelia looked over the final draft of the story after running it through the spell-checker once more. "Setsuna-sama, we have your story," she beamed. "Yes, well," the guardian of time hedged, "you three spent so much time discussing the fate of the other Senshi that I got tired of waiting so I let Christabel take a peek in the future." "WHAT?!?" They exclaimed. A smug gargoyle smirked from her perch on the back of the couch. "Now what was that about some chocolate pocky, Ophelia-chan..?" ----- The End? ------------------------------------------------- Once again send comments and/or flames to: Greenbeans http://www.tyrlen.org/gbeans/homepage/ Ophelia http://www.acs.ucalgary.ca/~emhegera/notebook/notebook.html Joan McDougall http://www.korax.net/~rsm/joanm/jmain.htm