============================================== Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Orion REMIX A relatively unoriginal fanfic by Greenbeans Episode .5^2: Would you like onions with that? ============================================== It was a pleasant day in the back yard of the house shared by Jen and Eileen. They wouldn't have many more opportunities for an outdoor barbeque before the weather turned cold, so they did it every chance they got. Jen had to admit that she was never very fond of the hamburgers that Eileen cooked (to the point of being crisp patties), but her partner took such joy in calling her American Blazing Eagle to do the honors that she couldn't deny her her fun. If nothing else, at least the ketchup helped to restore moisture that was lost during the cooking process. "Sammy, will you get me another plate? I'm going to have some more burgers finished here in a minute," America smiled as she poised for her attack. Sammy took a clean plate from the picnic table that Jen and Eileen kept in the back yard for barbeque and stood clear of her superior. "Ready?" America called out. "Ready as I ever am," Orion held her sword out with a burgers skewered on it. America called her attack and neatly hit the near charcoaled patties. America grinned. "This method of cooking has the added benefit of target practice, ne, Jen?" Orion grimanced slightly. "You're washing the sword tonight. And don't try to stick it in the dishwasher this time." ** High in orbit, a cloaked ship watched the planet. "I will have revenge," Sailor Onion said from her position at the Captain's chair. "And what will I have?" Sailor Artichoke pouted. "Leftovers?" Onion growled deep in her throat as she remembered their disgraceful return to Club AniPike. Misato refused to let them enter since they were not true fanfic characters. They were obsolete, forgotten, abandoned, this would not do! Artichoke stood back from her lover. She knew better then to intrude when she got to thinking about their short fanfic history. "No matter," Onion brushed the thoughts aside, "once we eliminate Orion and America, LeVar will have to use us if he wants his series to continue." An evil, though generic, evil laugh rang throughout the ship. ** Eileen put the sword in the bathtub to let it soak while they ate. She learned a while ago that it made cleaning it later much easier. She then skipped along outside where everyone was eating. Jen made room for her partner besides her on the picnic table bench. Eileen didn't want to sit on the hard wood, so she sat in Jen's lap instead. The three valkryies continued their chatting, not taking notice of their superiors. The council members were not as used to their occasional display and squirmed about uncomfortably. Eileen asked the Defense minister what he thought of her cooking. He looked anywhere but at the two of them, then muttered something about it being a bit dry. Eileen smiled slightly. "I've noticed that myself. Here," she passed over a jar of mayo, "this helps a lot." The Defense minister mumbled his thanks then left the table. "You shouldn't tease him," Jen whispered in her ear, taking a little nibble of the tender flesh against her lips. "You shouldn't tease me," Eileen retorted, turning around in Jen's lap. "Agreed," LeVar came through the gate leading out front. "LeVar!" Eileen stood up to greet their author. "We weren't expecting you. Would you like a burger?" He gave her a level look. "I know how you cook. I created you, remember? Which leads me to why I'm here." "What's up?" Jen turned to straddle the bench. The other barbecue guests turned their attention to him. "Ah, well, we've got a small problem. You remember your, *ahem* counterparts? They're back, and they're looking for blood." Jen's eyes narrowed. "You created them, you deal with it," she took a bite out of her burger, then regretted it. Ketchup squirted out onto the fuku of a senshi who bore somewhat of a resemblance to her. The senshi did not look amused. "He can't," Onion took a napkin off of the table to wipe off her fuku. "Once a character has been created, it can't be eliminated unless it is totally erased from the memory of every person who knows of them and every fic they show up in is deleted." "Sucks to be you," Eileen gloated. "Now get out of our fanfic." "Not so quick!" Artichoke cut in. "We were created to replace you slackers and we fully intend to do so. This is your warning to get any lemons you wanted to do out of the way, because your days to do them are numbered." "Goody, permission to do another lemon," Eileen smiled sweetly at her author. "Got yourself in a pickle, eh?" Jen said dryly in an aside to LeVar. LeVar sweatdropped and scratched the back of his head. "These things happen." "Only to you, apparently," Jen shook her head. "You're on Onion. We'll see who is most fit to finish this fanfic, and I guarantee that it won't be you!" ----- Club AniPike is property of NightBreak and used with permission.