Part 1: Michiru-tachi and the Doll-tachi One day Michiru, who didn't look like Michiru, but was still just as pretty, was walking with her two friends. One looked like Haruka, but wasn't Haruka. In fact, this friend had a weird thing for veggies, but we won't go into that. The other friend had a thing for cats.. enough to borrow his cats name as his (which *was* borrowing because the cat was possessive). [jiro-kun: very true ^_-] Anyhow... this group of friends will be henceforth called Michiru-tachi. Well, the one thing the M-tachi (Michiru-tachi was too long) had in common was a thing for dolls. Lookie, what happened to be walking down the other side of the street but a Doll-tachi. The leader of the D-tachi happened to look a lot like the friend with the thing for veggies, but both of them denied it fiercely. So M-tachi walked up to D-tachi. Michiru: "Look, a Doll-tachi. Let's take them home and play house!" So the leader of the D-tachi followed the M-tachi home 'cause the leader of the D-tachi thought the leader of the M-tachi was cute. The -tachi's divided themselves up into new -tachi's :P Michiru and the good-looking leader of the dolls went off to play in the corner alone. The person with the thing for veggies was somewhat disappointed 'cause she wanted to get to know the leader better, but contented herself with playing with the Inner dolls-tachi. The man with the thing for cats decided that since he was older and more mature, he would go have tea with the remaining Outer-tachi. [jiro-kun: yes... we can talk history ^_-] Well, Michiru wasn't seen for several hours. During which time the man with a thing for cats had had several cups of tea, a discussion on world politics, and a date for this Saturday. The girl with the thing for veggies had gotten bored playing with the brainy doll, so she got all the other Inner doll-tachi to help her in making the brainy doll's life hell. [* jiro-kun hears cheering coming from the Midwest for some reason] Around midnight (which is 2 hours past Michiru's bedtime on a school night) the missing lady showed up again with a very pleased look on her face. Veggie Girl: "You look like a cat that's lapped up a bowl of cream.." Cat Man: "Heh heh heh you said cat.." VG: "Quiet! Well?" Michiru: "The leader of the Doll-tachi asked me to marry him *^^*" VG and CM: "_o_ WHAT!!!!" VG: "You're underage!" CM: "Wonder if this could get me closer to that good looking doll from the distant land.." [Ai|: haha.. Americans and their 'underage' laws :P] And so their protests (well VG's protests) continued for some time. [gbeans: Ail :P dun ruin it :P] -We skip ahead to the day of the wedding- Doll Leader: "I wonder how HOT Michiru will look without her wedding dress.." So they all got in front of the altar and all the wedding ceremony crap was going on when their was a *BooM* outside and then a *pOOf* inside. Everyone of course stopped watching the wedding to see what all was going on. A man dressed in a white tux and looking rather handsome strode up the aisle with a purpose. He knelt before Michiru on one knee before taking her right hand in his own. Michiru: "A.. Ail @.@" [Ai|: O_o?] Ail: "Michiru, ever since the weekend we almost got married, I cannot stop thinking about you. Forget this plastic wannabe and marry me instead like you had proposed." [gbeans: Got your attention, ne? :P] Michiru: "uh..." DL: "uh.. NO! I want Michiru's.. bo.. eer.." Ail: "You defiler of young women!" Ail pulled out a magical keyboard and started to whack on the doll with it. VG: "Hey, dammit! That's *my* keyboard!!" CM: "I know.." So, Ail had quickly beaten down the doll threat and kicked away the broken pieces before taking the doll's place at the altar. Michiru: "um.. Okay.. I can do this. Just so long as *someone* marries me." And so they were married. Part 2: Revenge -A year later- Veggie Girl was lalala'ing around her garden as she trimmed her tomato plants. [Ai|: o_o] Cat Man was still hitting upon the good looking doll, but had gotten no further than a quick kiss on the cheek for a years worth of effort. Ail and Michiru were living a happy life in a happy lil apartment with 3 happy lil cats (wedding gift from Cat Man) and lotsa happy lil plants (from Veggie Girl). Michiru: "lalala I live such a happy lil life." Ail: "I know, I know.. Stop saying 'lalala' before I seek my rabid alien pets on you." (Of course, we've never seen these rabid alien pets, but who knows what goes on in their bedroom). So anyhow.. [jiro-kun: kinky....] [Ai|: o.o] The brainy doll was stalking the happy lil couple because she was still mad at what Veggie Girl had done to her but didn't know her mailing address. So one night the brainy doll planned her.. it's.. um.. whatever's.. attack. She slid open the window to one of the rooms and was going to slip in, knife Michiru, and then slip out again. [jiro-kun: brainy doll finally figured out the phone book, ne?] She climbed in what she thought was the bathroom, but there was no toilet. It was then that she realized she had climbed into their bedroom. She was then promptly eaten by Ail's rabid alien pets and then regurgitated onto Michiru's nice bedspread. After that, the rabid alien pets had to spend the night outside on a lead.. The other Doll-tachi had taken note of the brainy dolls disappearance. They plotted revenge.. But then decided to go bowling instead because who really gives a damn about brainy doll anyway? [* jiro-kun hears more sleep-cheering from the Midwest] Michiru made Ail wash the bedspread, but he didn't want to. So he sent it to the cleaners to be washed. And the world was happy again. Part 3: The Cleaners In a dark and dreary dry cleaners a worker labored to clean the brainy doll stains out of a certain bed spread. It was a labor of love for the worker. For one day.. the woman who the bed spread belonged to would be his! Anyhow.. The bedspread was cleaned, all the stains removed and such. So Ail went to pick it up. He was then promptly arrested by the Ami Preservation Society for the mauling of their patron goddess. Meanwhile.. Michiru was lying on her bed.. alone.. no bedspread.. wondering when da hell Ail would be home so that they could test if it was clean or not. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Michiru got out of bed, put her bathrobe on, and went to answer the door. Michiru: "ooh Gods.. you're.. alive o_O" Doll Leader: "Yes, Michiru-love, I am alive and I have come to whisk you away to a secluded place where we can live up to my saying of making the earth rumble." Michiru: "¬.¬; you're gonna have to be DAMN good to beat an alien, buster." Meanwhile.. Ail: "I did *NOT* do a thing to your goddess or whatever." APS: "We found her remains on your bedspread!" Leader: "You raped our goddess.. Stole her sacred virginity.. Then murdered her!! You should have stayed dead after the R season!" Ail: "Let's get 2 things straight right now. One, I'm not the same Ail. Two, who da hell would *want* to rape that pencil necked calculator wannabe?!" Leader: "SHUDDUP!! She is our goddess and you will pay for your crime!" -Back at the love birds apartment- The Doll Leader is trying to seduce Michiru. Suddenly the door burst open and the Cat Man comes bopping in. CM: "Hey, Michiru, guess what? I got a new story written, but it was so big I had to put it on a 100M zip disk. Did Veggie Girl ever get around to installing a zip drive on your machine?" He stops and notices who else is in the room. CM: "um.. Aren't you.. that doll leader?" DL: "How kind of you to notice.. If you don't mind, we were busy discussing something." CM: "Oh! No probs, Michiru s'kay if I go write some more on your computer, right? Good.. have fun!" And he left the room without further discussion or incident. -Back with the APS- Ail: "Listen.. if I *was* the alien from R, don't you think I would have a flute or have pulled out a cardian or at least tried something evil by now?" APS: "You killed our goddess!" Ail: "Oh get off it. She's dead. So what? You have 8 *other* Senshi you can go worship now." APS: "Y'know.. That Jupiter chick does have a good leg to skirt ratio.." And so they decided to go worship Jupiter now. Thus Ail took the bedspread and went home. -At home- Ail: "I hope Michiru isn't asleep. I wanted to inspect this bedspread tonight for any stains." He goes bopping in the front door to find the Doll Leader trying to mack on Michiru. -Mysterious scenes switch to the local bowling alley where a group suddenly mobbed the place. Riot police were called and the news broadcast is calling it an active religious cult revolution- Makoto: "We've got to get away before they wreck the place!" Rei: "She's right! Minna-san, henshin yo!!" And they do their nifty henshin shit. They then go out and kill all the former Ami-chanians and the world is now a happy place again. -Back at the apartment- Ail: "YOU!!" DL: "ME!!" Michiru: "MEN!" And so the apartment was crackling with all this blue energy. Out of no where (or their could be some rude comment about where I'm pulling this story from) a plane crashes into the apartment after mistaking it for a landing beacon. The plants were dead. The cats were dead. Cat Man wasn't dead, but he was psychologically scarred for life when his 100M story was lost and the zip disk was his only copy of it. [jiro-kun: ] The Doll Leader wasn't dead. He was pulled out of the rubble by one of the older Senshi who had been watching him for a long time. It was only with his clothes half shredded off that it was noted that he was really a she and that she had been hitting on Michiru. [jiro-kun: the truth will out ;p] That earned the Doll Leader a 2x4 upside the head from the surviving Michiru who was rather mad at almost marrying her. Ail also survived, but the bedspread was soiled again in the explosion. Thus he couldn't inspect it with Michiru and his evening was ruined. The end :)